The way things are

Sorry friends

2010-02-05T20:26:00.000-08:00

I just checked my blogs for the first time in a long time. Realization: I really haven't been very accessible lately. With school, church, work, and being a wife I've been incredibly busy. And when I'm not busy I just want to sit at home and relax. So I rarely see my old friends.

And for that, I apologize. I haven't forgotten you. I still think about you. And I'm sorry I'm lame.

I'm so cool you guys

2010-01-06T20:11:00.000-08:00

This is my handbell choir. Yeah. We're awesome. You can see me in this video a few times. Every time it shows the big aluminum bells I'm cut out though. All you can see is my arms and sometimes my boobs since the rest of my body got cut off.

What

2009-08-26T19:06:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting on my couch watching That 70's Show and doing pretty much nothing. There are dishes in the sink and crumbs on the floor. Our bed is un-made and Jacob's new school books have taken over the coffee table. I had plans to go through all of my clothes or to sort through our storage closet. Not anymore. I'm even too lazy to get up and get my camera memory card so I can put up pictures on Facebook.

Lame.

So I'm just sitting here being lazy. *Sigh*

I can't even remember why I decided to write a blog...

Um...

Bye.

sitting around

2009-08-02T20:24:00.000-07:00

Haven't blogged in a while and I'm not really doing anything right now so I thought I'd ramble for a bit.

Our snail had a baby. It's less than a centimeter long though so we've only seen it twice. I hope our frogs don't eat it.

Also I have a twitter account now, which is sort of cool except I only know like four people on it.

I'm chatting with a random friend on Facebook right now. I haven't talked to her in years, but we were never super close so I'm sort of apathetic to the conversation. Is that mean? She's nice, but I think I'm just too lazy right now to really care about much.

We're going to California this weekend for my little brother's mission farewell. He's going to Uruguay, which is crazy. My Aunt Migraine, who is a nurse practitioner, thinks he won't last a year because he's so skinny. Her bet is that he'll get sick and be malnourished or something. Who knows. He's excited though. He heard they eat a lot of steak down there, which sounds pretty good to me. I'm sure he'll love it.

The weekend after we go to CA we're leaving for Texas to visit Jacob's family for a week. I'm pretty excited to go to the Dallas Zoo and Six Flags, but I'm not too excited for the 25 hour drive there and back. Hopefully our friends ZombieLover and GirlWhoHatesPeopleWhoSayTheMovieWasDifferentFromTheBook (GWHPWSTMWDFTB), who are going with us, don't get too sick of us during the long car rides. We're driving straight through.

Anyway, I think I'm going to go read my book now. If anyone actually reads this blog, I cherish your devotion and hope you are well. :)

Random

2009-05-26T11:52:00.000-07:00

1. On the right side of my Facebook page the same ad always appears: Utah Breast Augmentation.

2. I had a dream the other night that a fish in a spider web turned into a large lizard which continually scratched at our door. When it got angry it turned into a pink monkey. I think at one point I punted it across the street but it just came back.

3. I played Nazi Zombies (on Call of Duty) for my first time last night, and I got to round 6. Jacob's friends were impressed. I'm not sure why I was good at that when I suck so bad at Halo...

4. Dan Brown has great stories, but he's a terrible writer.

5. Jacob's eyelashes are singed from barbeque-ing yesterday. They're all discolored on the edges.

Birthday List...sort of

2009-04-19T18:50:00.000-07:00

This is a brainstorm of possible items I would like for my birthday, mostly because I have nothing to do and Jacob asked what I want. Oh and I'm on Jacob's laptop and the enter key doesn't work. My apologies.

A new cell phone (probably going to be too expensive)
2. Guitar Hero World Tour
3. A Harry Potter T-shirt (a cool one, not one with Daniel Radcliff's face plastered across the front)
4. Money to shop for new clothes
5. Guitar lessons
6. Books--Maybe some of the Harry Potter books, or some Roald Dahl books, or the new Perseus Jackson books, or the Kite Runner or something that's supposed to be really good
7. Movies--Another Seinfeld season, The Emperor's New Groove, Surf's Up, The Sword and the Stone, pretty much any Disney movie (ooo I love Beauty and the Beast)...
Meh I don't know what else. If I think of anything else maybe I'll redo this post on a different computer.

Magical Aquarium

2009-04-17T07:57:00.000-07:00

I don't know if anyone will even bother to read this--it's been so long since I last posted--but I finally had a spare moment and felt like blogging.

Jacob and I got a 36 gallon aquarium a few months ago (he begged and I caved). We have a tree, some plants, and a little skull that has bubbles coming out of the mouth. Oh yeah and we have some cute freshwater fish.

Our five rasboras are named Harry, Ron, Hermione, Neville, and Luna. We have two frogs named George and Paul (coming soon: Ringo and John). We have a snail which I think is named MoleButt but I'm not sure. We used to have a guppy named Little Jerry Seinfeld (has anybody seen the cockfight episode?) but he died a few days ago, rest his soul. And we have some other random fish that are nameless. They just look cool.

But that's not why our fish tank is magical. About a week ago, Jacob bought a blue snail to replace Vanilla Bear (our white snail that got sucked up the filter). The snail seemed all right the first day, but after that we never saw him again. He just disappeared. On Sunday, Jacob cleaned the entire tank and even took out all of the plants and looked under the hood but the snail was nowhere to be found.

That evening, while staring at the fish tank like he so often does, Jacob exclaimed that there was a tiny black fish swimming next to the tree. I took a look and sure enough there was some mystery fish in our tank.

Possible explanations?
1. Some of our fish bred but only produced one egg that we apparently didn't notice.
2. Our blue snail turned into the tiny black fish.

Personally I'm inclined to go with the more magical theory. It just seems more likely.

A Savior is Born

2008-12-06T17:47:00.000-08:00

This year I had the opportunity to sing with the BYU choirs at the Celebration of Christmas concert, and we sang a piece that really moved me. It really captured what Christmas is about and what Christ's birth actually means for us today. I've posted a recording of last year's performance of the piece to this blog, but it's a little hard to understand the words in some places. Open the link in a new tab or window so you can follow along with the words:

Carol Of Joy

"Green leaves all fallen, withered and dry;
Brief sunset fading, dim winter sky.
Lengthening shadows,
Dark closing in...

Then, through the stillness, carols begin!

Oh fallen world, to you is the song--
Death holds you fast and night tarries long.

Jesus is born, your curse to destroy!
Sweet to your ears, a carol of Joy!

Pale moon ascending, solemn and slow;
Cold barren hillside, shrouded in snow;
Deep, empty valley veiled by the night;
Hear angel music--hopeful and bright!

Oh fearful world, to you is the song--
Peace with your God, and pardon for wrong!
Tidings for sinners, burdened and bound--

A carol of joy!

A Saviour is found!

Earth wrapped in sorrow, lift up your eyes!
Thrill to the chorus filling the skies!
Look up sad hearted--witness God's love!
Join in the carol swelling above!

Oh friendless world, to you is the song!
All Heaven's joy to you may belong!
You who are lonely, laden, forlorn--
Oh fallen world!
Oh friendless world!

To you,

A Saviour is born!"

I hope that amidst the sorrow and pain of the world we can remember our Savior and the peace he brings, and I wish you all a very merry Christmas. :)

Random Thoughts

2008-11-22T19:57:00.000-08:00

I'm supposed to be working on our lesson for church tomorrow (Jacob and I teach the Sunbeams in our ward), but I thought I'd post a quick blog first. You know, just random things I'm thinking about.

I think there are people out there who read blogs and make comments just because they want to criticize. I just deleted a comment from my "Friends" post because Anonymous (another hilarity--I mean if you're going to criticize me, at least tell me who you are) was upset that I was being hurtful and that I shouldn't judge my friends. If you knew or understood me, you would know I was just venting frustration.

Other thoughts. My neck has a crick in it. Probably my least favorite type of injury. I've actually posted on the topic before.

I just figured out how to put hyperlinks into my blog text (something I've always wondered how to do but never wanted to ask anyone because I would feel stupid). Unfortunately I can't find the post on neck-injuries that I wanted to link.

Jacob's coming to pick me up right now. And I didn't do any of the lesson. Blast.

Logic

2008-11-17T16:03:00.001-08:00

There are two main reasons I hate debating politics:

1) Contention. Arguing, even respectfully debating, always leaves me in a bad mood. No one is going to change his/her mind, no one is going to prove anything, and everyone is going to end up with higher blood pressure in the end. And when both sides are very passionate, feelings can be hurt and friends can be lost. Basically, debates are an effective way to get real flustered real quick.

2) Logic. When it comes to the big, belief-testing political issues, logic is rarely on my side. Obviously that makes me look like a self-righteous bigot or whatever they're calling us these days. I know it does. I know that most people don't understand personal revelation, or a firm believe in supporting Church leaders. I know most people think it's "blind faith" when I believe without knowing all of the reasons why.

Personal conviction and faith are very real to me, and I believe the combination of the two to be a lot firmer an argument than human logic. To me, logic has little to do with faith, except to add to an already present validity. All I know is I have a testimony of the Gospel. I have a testimony that marriage is an eternal principle not to be taken lightly. I have a testimony that the leaders of the Church receive and act upon revelation. And I know that the Gospel has always brought me peace and has never brought me sorrow.

Sometimes I don't have a plethora of logical reasons for my beliefs. That's because it's not about logic for me. I think human logic is too limited to trust in. I put my faith and trust in the Lord.

That's why I hate politics.

Friends

2008-11-06T11:57:00.001-08:00

I've been thinking about my friends lately and how much flakiness bothers me when it comes to friendship. I mean, if I know you have nothing planned on a Friday night and I ask you to hang out, how am I supposed to feel when you choose not to? Or how about if I ask you weeks in advance to hang out and continually remind you about it, and then at the last moment you choose to do something else? Especially when "you" is someone I consider a close friend?

So we have the flakes--those friends you can't count on to be there, whether or not you ask them in advance. And of course they don't plan in advance so they won't be calling you to hang out either.

Where does a friendship like that go? I don't like it when friendships peter out due to neglect, but am I responsible to carry a friendship on my own? Is that really friendship? And should I just let it slide when a friend bales on me?

I know everyone flakes on someone at some point, but I'm talking repeated offenses here. I don't need someone to hang out with every day or every week, I just need someone who will make an effort when I want to get together with them. I want friends who will pick up the ball right where we left off, whether it's been days or months or years. And yes, I have many friends like this, and I love and appreciate them. If you're reading this, you're definitely not a flake.

Sigh. I guess I'll just have to see what happens with these friends in the long run.

At Work

2008-10-15T19:23:00.000-07:00

I've been wanting to blog for a while, but I never seem to have the time. Anywho, I have about 6 minutes left of my break, so maybe I can crank one out real quick.

I've just been thinking about Prop 8 lately (I wonder why) and I thought I'd join the ranks of those who have posted about it. Jacob and I were talking about the various posts lately (he's been reading more of your blogs than I have!) and about how the Church has been so outspoken about it. It's pretty crazy--even though we don't live in California, I feel like we're still in the thick of everything.

Because I got married and changed my name in Utah, I now am no longer registered to vote in California. So no votes for me. But I would have voted yes. I changed my Facebook status to reflect that, and I fear I may have offended or at least hurt some of my friends. That was not my intention at all. Normally I am not outspoken about my political views, but I feel this is a really important issue. The Church has made a big deal of it, and I feel it is our duty to stand with our leaders and make our stance clear.

Jacob pointed out that the Church will probably lose a lot of current and prospective members as it stands against gay marriage, and I agree with him. This will be a decisive issue for many members who are currently riding the fence. And--now, I mean no offense to anyone when I say this--but I don't think that is such a bad thing. Of course I want all of my friends to embrace the Gospel and stick with the Church, but realistically that is not going to happen. And with the current state of the world and the impending Second Coming of the Savior, people need to take a stance one way or another. Maybe all of this hoopla is encouraging just that. Who's on the Lord's side, who?

Regardless of your opinions and choices, I will still be your friend of course. And honestly, I really do have sympathy for those who feel they are being deprived of the right to marry the love of their life. I do not wish pain upon anyone, nor do I think we should spurn those who have other opinions than we do. I just couldn't help thinking that these issues are really testing us. Someday we will all have to make a choice, and it's going to matter which side we choose.

Hello!

2008-10-04T20:22:00.000-07:00

Every time I go to write a blog I don't know what to say, or I remember something else I have to do, or I get bored, or class ends...

Anyway, sorry I disappeared for a while.

Life is good. Really good actually. It feels like I'm crazy busy, but most of it is fun stuff. Even some of my classes are fun. My harp arrived from California with my grandparents today. We haven't had a chance to move it downstairs yet, but hopefully tomorrow we can. Then I can tune it and play!

Being married is like living in a fairy tale. Well, most of the time. I still have to go to school and work and rehearsal and we have more bills to pay and all of that jazz, but being married to Jacob is fantastic. Sometimes I just wonder how I ever made it this far in life, how I found someone so amazing to marry, how he loves me more than anything. I'm happy.

Sometimes life is frustrating. You know, not having a permanent home, not having a real job, all the stuff that comes with being a college kid. But we're doing well and we're on our way into the real world. Plus Jacob is so fun and he makes me laugh so I never stay frustrated for long.

Oh yeah and I got into the El Ed program at BYU. Yay! I'm not a "pre" major person anymore. One step closer.

Yay for life. Call me sometime.

My current life

2008-06-25T10:16:00.000-07:00

Yay I'm married!

It was awesome. I'm going to post an extensive description of the wedding and everything on Facebook, so I won't do that here.

Being married is fun. It's just like dating, but with fewer boundaries, and you don't have to say goodbye every night. I love having my very own personal priesthood holder and masseuse in my home. And even though there are new financial worries and plenty of legal forms we have yet to sort out and fill out, it's still wonderful.

I started summer classes this week. They don't seem to hard thus far, but there will be lots of reading. I love spring and summer terms though because they go by so quickly. I wish fall and winter could go by that fast. So sad.

And I live in American Fork. It's actually pretty fun, being with my grandparents and my extended family. Gas prices are not happy, but other than that it's not too bad living twenty minutes from BYU.

Obviously I haven't been blogging much. There are a lot of reasons for that. Even now, this post lacks flow because I'm distractedly writing in class. But I still enjoy the occasional post and I will continue to keep up this blog, however slowly. Also I apologize for not reading anyone's blog lately. I will try to read them more often but no guarantees. I'm lame I know. But I still love you guys and gals. :)

Two weeks

2008-05-30T20:30:00.000-07:00

Two weeks from today I will be a married lady. I can't believe it's so close. We've been waiting since January. Actually, to be honest, we've been waiting for a lot longer than that even. And it's finally coming.

I'm not nervous. Jacob is my best friend. I have never gotten sick of being around him, and he rarely irritates me. We've talked about the wedding night and I'm not really nervous for that either. I'm looking forward to it actually.

I went through the temple a few weeks ago and got to go to my brother's sealing. Both were wonderful. In fact, I went to the temple again last week, and I look forward to going many more times.

It's been stressful though, as I've mentioned before. But things have been working themselves out, and there really is only one last big thing to take care of before we tie the knot--setting up our car insurance. Everything else is taken care of. Heavenly Father has really been blessing us. Even the other day when we realized we bought a mattress that is too big for the bed frame, things worked out and we now have a wonderful bed (don't worry, he's not sleeping there yet--just me).

Our friends have been great too. We've already gotten a ton of presents, some from people we barely know. It's way nice. It's like graduation, times a hundred.

I will be grateful when it's all over though. For the past five months there has always been some little thing that needs to be taken care of, some little worry in the back of my mind. Even now it's just the little things that get so annoying. And I hope everything goes smoothly the day of the wedding and the few days preceding it.

Also I've been getting really annoyed with my parents. It's gotten to the point where I don't look forward to calling them, and when they call, I usually have to convince myself to answer. I know they just want to make sure everything gets done and that we're prepared to be married, but sometimes I feel like they treat me like a little kid, and it drives me nuts. I am excited to be independent of them. Also sometimes I wish they were a little more open-minded. I won't complain too much though. They are paying for a lot of this wedding and they've done a lot to help us get off to a good start. I really do appreciate it and I'm grateful that they were able and willing to help. I just think the wedding is straining our relationship a little, so it will be nice when it's all done with.

Jacob has been amazing though. He's offered his help and opinions when I've needed them, and on stressful days he has pampered and spoiled me. He's understanding when I tell him I'm too tired to stay very long at night, or when I want to go to lunch with a friend. And on our days off he has spent every moment with me and we've had a lot of fun. He is the best and I'm so excited to be married to him. I know he's going to be a wonderful husband.

And then after the honeymoon I have to start classes. Yuck. Oh well, life has to go on I suppose. :)

I'm not dead yet

2008-05-11T19:13:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone I know I never post anymore and I apologize. I've never been so stressed for such a long period of time. A month or so ago a friend of mine sarcastically said my life must be so hard planning to get married for eternity. I wanted to smack her. Planning a wedding is a happy thing, but it is very stressful, and when you have finals, and then a death in the family, and you're working full time, and two of your best friends are getting married a month before you, and your brother is getting married a month before you, it gets pretty stressful.

So I'm sorry I haven't posted. I'm in California right now and I miss Jacob like crazy. I'll be back on Wednesday though, an I get to take out my endowments. Yay!

After this week (my brother's wedding), life will be a lot calmer until we get married. I'll be a lot more available to hang out.

Hope everyone is well! :)

For fun

2008-04-22T16:56:00.000-07:00

Having been tagged by Potentate, I post this blog.

1. Pick up the nearest book (at least 123 pages).
2. Turn to page 123.
3. Find the 5th sentence
4. Post the 5th sentence on your blog.
5. Tag 5 people.

"In genetic-environmental correlation and niche-picking, children's genes affect the environments to which they are exposed."

Unfortunately the book that was nearest to me was my MFHD 210 Child Development book that the BYU Bookstore would not let me sell back.

And now I tag Jacob, Brady, Peas, Smurf, and Samantha. Apologies if you have already been tagged.

Happiness

2008-04-01T10:14:00.000-07:00

A lot of people have lost faith lately. Several people I know, moho and straight people alike, have left the Church.

I don't condemn them, nor am I happy for them.

I don't understand how you could leave a Gospel that brings such joy to the world and the people in it. I don't understand how you could leave if you know it's true.

If you don't know it's true, find out. Don't just leave. If you do know it's true, keep going. Use the Atonement and stay close to the Lord. Be happy. :)

Quick Update

2008-03-05T09:41:00.000-08:00

Hey all I haven't disappeared. Life has just been so good! Wedding plans are going fairly smoothly, my mom came out here this weekend and we bought my dress, she finally met Jacob (who is ever amazing, of course), I'm doing pretty well in classes, and I finally landed a job (a crappy one, but a job nonetheless). I'm doing really well and I'm loving life. I've never been happier with my major. My only complaints are that I would like a better-paying non-food job and that my wisdom tooth is coming in. Darn teeth. Good thing my pops is a dentist.

Anywho I thought I'd just check in and say I'm fabulous!

February 14th

2008-02-14T08:39:00.001-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!!! Thank you all for being such incredible friends. I love you all!

Big news!!!

2008-01-27T18:35:00.000-08:00

Jacob proposed today. So I'm engaged! There is a gorgeous ring on my finger. And I'm so excited!!!

New pets

2008-01-22T15:56:00.001-08:00

Jacob and I bought some new pets!!! We have a little aquarium with our snail Eduardo, our frog Julie, and our guppies Little Jerry Seinfeld and Adam West.

They're pretty much amazing. You should come visit.

Amazing

2008-01-14T17:02:00.000-08:00

Saturday was definitely the best day of the year so far. It's going to be tough to beat.

Jacob and I were celebrating our fourth monthiversary of dating. We got up early, had cinnamon rolls for breakfast, then went shopping (although we didn't buy anything). After shopping, we got some lunch at Subway. Then we headed over to Rock Canyon Park in our snow clothes and went sledding. It was awesome!!! I was sort of scared at first, but I got better. I even went down on my stomach!!!

By the time we got home I was sufficiently wet and my hair was no longer straight. We changed clothes and got started on making Oreo balls (1 pack oreos crushed, 8 oz cream cheese, stir together evenly, roll into balls, cover in melted chocolate, chill) which turned out great.

We were really hungry after sledding, so we went to this great Mexican place on Center Street called Joe Vera's. Jacob's friend "Means Hot" was working there so she was our server. It was a lot of really tasty food, and it wasn't that expensive either.

As if we hadn't had enough fun, we headed up to Seven Peaks to go ice skating. I'm not very good at staying balanced, so I was clinging to Jacob the whole time. He is actually quite good at ice skating; lucky for me he didn't mind going slow. I got my sea legs eventually though and it wasn't too bad. I even went around a couple of times by myself.

Finally we decided to rest our bodies so we went to the dollar theater to watch "Dan in Real Life." It was a really good movie even though it was really sad most of the time. There were some funny parts though.

After the movie we said goodnight and went our separate ways. It was a really really great day.

Feeling nostalgic--pardon me if it sounds cheesy

2007-12-29T22:48:00.001-08:00

Sometimes I wonder why life just clicks. It's like everything is laid out--I can see how past events have caused my life to go a certain direction, how present events will effect the future. It's not always good, and it's not always fun, but it just is. And sometimes I imagine I can just see it all.

I also wonder why I'm thinking this now, as I just got home from a party. The party was a group of old Sylvan Singers, most of them before my time. I'm not quite sure how I came to know some of those people... Most of them I just met at some concert they happened to be at and we just clicked.

Anywho, with me being the youngest and having graduated two to three years later than these people, I was sort of the odd one out. It wasn't a big deal; in fact, I had anticipated it. For the most part I fit in, but every now and then there was a song I didn't know, or an awkward transitional moment where I suddenly found myself alone. I had fun though.

It was good to see old faces, old friends. I rode with the ever-delightful ParallelStephalumpagus and good ol' CheeseFace. They are fun to talk to and PS is a very good source of information/juicy gossip. The party was at Matt's house out in the country (with no reception), and he's a very sweet fun guy. Andrea remembered me and was very friendly, and Emily and Molly came too. My old crush, Pound, was there. At first we didn't really talk much and we sort of avoided eye contact. I don't know why...I think it was just one of those things about not talking for a while... Later I asked him how school was and after that conversation flowed just grandly. I had forgotten how easy he is to talk to--we never ran out of conversation.

Around ten I was pretty ready to go. We had eaten, done a gift exchange, and played two rounds of Apples to Apples. I didn't want to make PS leave, but she could tell that CheeseFace and I were ready. It was a good thing too because other people started to leave too. So we said our goodbyes and our promises to Facebook, yada yada yada, we finally left. And luckily Jacob called me right as my phone got reception to say goodnight.

And now I'm home, feeling kind of nostalgic, kind of sad. It was really good to see everyone but I think it just made me see that my life is in Provo now. Vacaville is more of a place to visit than an actual home. I love it to death, and I hate to say this but...I kind of miss being in Provo. I miss my normal life--Jacob, Peas, school, friends, grandparents. It was a nice break, but I'm ready to sleep in my own bed, in my apartment, with no parents, and resume life as it is.

When I was in third grade, I remember thinking about sixth grade and being really sad because I didn't want to leave elementary school and all of my teachers behind. I didn't want things to change because I liked them the way they were. When I graduated high school I was excited for school but I missed my high school friends.

But change really isn't so bad. It's just the way things are, right? Things change, and sometimes we're afraid to change something that's already the way we like it, but we have to just know that things get better. There's always more to life. More to look forward to.

And then we can come back to places like Vacaville and visit and remember the way things used to be, remember good times, and be grateful that there are more to come.

I'm so lame

2007-12-22T12:44:00.000-08:00

I don't know why I waited to post when I was in a crappy mood instead of posting good things like my amazing finals week. I just went and read some of Jacob's posts and he's always so happy. I'm so lame.

So here's the good stuff.

Last week I took three finals on Monday and two on Tuesday, then I was done. It was amazing, even though I got a C in one of my classes. I don't even care and it's not worth beating myself up about.

Tuesday was probably one of the best days ever. I went over to Jacob's house and we exchanged Christmas presents. He is the BEST. He got me a really great new backpack (which I totally needed), two of my favorite children's books, plus another one by the same author, these really cool Nightmare Before Christmas gloves that I've had my eye on for a while, and some Nightmare Before Christmas socks. On top of all that, he wrote me a really heartfelt letter that actually made me cry. It was amazing.

We spent the day studying and watching family guy, and after I finished my finals he took me out to eat. Then we watched Big Fish, which is such a good movie.

Wednesday I made two kinds of cookies while Jacob studied, and later I went shopping with some girls from the ward. I wasn't really in the mood to go shopping, but it was okay. Afterwards I went to Jacob's house and spent some time with him. He's so sweet.

Thursday was the day I left. Jacob and I went to Zupas, then to Wells Fargo to try and open a checking account for me. After that we went back to my place and I finished my packing and my cleaning check. I was really sad to say goodbye to him when he left for work.

After a crazy storm and a bit of a delayed flight, I finally made it to California (thanks again Guillermo for driving me! I hope the move went well for you and Natasha). Charlene was waiting for me an we had a fun drive home.

Yesterday wasn't super fun, but I did pick out some new glasses and I got my hair done.

And now I'm sitting here. I think I'm going to go eat some lunch and then wrap presents.

2007-12-22T12:27:00.000-08:00

I'm a little bit sad today. For various reasons and for no reason at all. I'm bored. I miss Jacob. Jacob went and saw a movie last night that I had hoped to go see with him. Sunshine is back and I haven't seen her. My mom made cookies this morning without me. My friends all have jobs. I always feel like a twelve-year-old when I'm here. I'm cold. I'm bored. I miss Jacob.

I'm complaining and repeating myself.

Le sigh. It's really no big deal; this invariably happens at least once when I'm home. It's just lame. I feel like a little kid sometimes when I'm here. You know, always asking what's going on, having to use someone else's car, living on someone else's schedule instead of my own, etc.

And why am I cold? It's 69 degrees in this house. I'm in California--it's supposed to be warm! And it really isn't that cold outside, but for some reason (*cough* my dad is insane *cough*) it's freezing INSIDE my house.

Okay sorry I'm complaining. I really am happy to be here. I'm just feeling lame and I felt like getting it out of my system.

"He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it."

2007-12-05T17:24:00.000-08:00

"Men and women who turn their lives over to God will discover that He can make a lot more out of their live than they can. He will deepen their joys, expand their vision, quicken their minds, strengthen their muscles, lift their spirits, multiply their blessings, increase their opportunities, comfort their souls, raise up friends, and pour out peace. Whoever will lose his life in the service of God will find eternal life."

--President Ezra Taft Benson
(Matthew 10:39)

Hand bells!

2007-12-03T11:04:00.000-08:00

Hey friends, I just wanted to let you all know that the Utah Valley Hand Bell Choir (of which I am a member) is playing at the Cathedral of the Madeleine in Salt Lake tomorrow night. You should all come!!! This is a big concert venue and we have some awesome music this year. It would mean a lot to me if you all came.

Date: Tuesday, Dec. 7
Time: 8:00 pm
Location: Cathedral of the Madeleine
331 E South Temple, Salt Lake City
Admission: Free!

If you've never seen a hand bell choir before, you should DEFINITELY go. It's a real treat, especially around Christmas. We have five octaves of bells and chime, and some of our songs will add percussion, flute, choir, and organ. The concert should last about an hour to an hour and a half.

If you can't make it, I'll probably announce some of our other concerts (we'll be playing at both the Provo and Salt Lake libraries, and at the Springville Art Museum) or you can get more info at www.utahbells.com. Click on "Concerts" and the bolded concerts are those that are open to the public. Admission is always free.

I hope to see you there! Email me if you have any questions!

MustacheBoy

2007-11-27T08:32:00.000-08:00

For a long time I've been meaning to fix the link to MustacheBoy's blog. I finally went to do it, but when I checked the link I found that it's already correct. I don't really know what else to do about it, so I think I might just post the URL next to his name. His blog is quite entertaining so I recommend you all go visit him.

That is all. :)

Things

2007-11-26T22:18:00.000-08:00

I went to Arizona last week. My brother goes to law school at ASU and Arnold's family lives out there so we spent Thanksgiving in 80 degree weather. It was a nice change, but I missed Jacob a lot. We went to the zoo on Wednesday, and Thursday was all right. Probably the worst Thanksgiving I've ever had, but it was all right. I've just never had it away from home before and it didn't quite have the right feeling. *Shrug.* The food was pretty good though so I guess it's all right. Oh, and we got to meet my brother's girlfriend. We all liked her.

Friday was my favorite day. After Toaf (my older brother) showed us around ASU, Pink Drink picked me up and we went to lunch. Pink Drink is one of about three non-LDS people from high school that I continue to regularly contact. She goes to ASU so I got to see her. We had a delightful time at lunch and she told me some fun stories about getting drunk. She's on the lookout for a nice man to date, but she says the guys in Arizona only want one thing, and that's one thing she won't do. I was proud of her. Haha.

We went shopping after lunch, and although I usually prefer to shop for clothes by myself, I felt very comfortable shopping with her. Probably because she has very little self-control when it comes to shopping, whereas I have too much. She's also one of my ditsy-er friends which made it a lot of fun. I got to go see her family too (I absolutely adore her mother) so it was a fun day.

Saturday I got up early to fly home. Jacob picked me up from the airport and we went to the mall. We got lunch at Applebee's, then opted to see a movie instead of shopping in the cold. We saw "Across the Universe" which was very artsy and very good. If you like artsy weird movies with amazing music, you would love it. There was some female nudity, which was sort of unnecessary, but there weren't sex scenes or anything and if I remember correctly the swearing was pretty mild. I don't recommend it for everyone, but I do recommend it.

After the movie we headed over to Abravanel Hall to attend the performance of Handel's "Messiah." It was a good kick off for the Christmas season. Also the Utah Symphony used a Baroque orchestra to perform it which was pretty cool. The harpsichord looked really nice.

Sunday was a good day. Church was nice, then I went to my grandparents' house for dinner. My aunt Shauna and some of her family were there, in addition to the regulars (Aunt Shelly and her family, me, Jacob, and my grandparents). Jacob fits in nicely, which is great.

That night I had a rehearsal, but since our conductor was out of town, Jacob and I had to go to her house in Springville and drive her car with the trailer that holds the bells back to Provo. It was kind of scary, especially when we had to back up, but Jacob performed splendidly and we made it to Provo and back with no damage. I bought Jacob Pudding on the Rice tonight to repay him for driving.

It's been several weeks since I've checked anyone's blog (include Peas' and Jacob's) so I tried to catch up on those today. AtP and I went to Costa Vida for dinner, which is always delightful food and company. I hadn't seen him in a while, so it was nice to talk and laugh with him. I love that he's been patient with me even though I haven't been the greatest friend this semester. I love you AtP.

Pudding on the Rice was quite tasty, and I got my homework done for tomorrow. I still have a ton of stuff to do before next week, but school is almost over. I can't wait for next semester.

Again, sorry for not being around. I IMed one of my friends the other day because I hadn't heard from him in about a month. He seemed really annoyed with me even though he hadn't tried to communicate with me either. I felt bad because I've been busy and I had tried to contact him earlier via Facebook and he hadn't responded.

So if any of you are offended that I haven't really been around, I'm very very sorry. I really do think about all of you often and I have caught up on reading your blogs. I'd love to do lunch with you sometime, just give me a call. AtP and Brady both contacted me today and it was absolutely lovely to hear from them. I would love to hear from more of you.

Thanks for being a part of my life. Love you! Muah.

FHE

2007-11-19T19:26:00.000-08:00

I'm at the Clyde building waiting for my group to come do a quick lab with me. I had to leave FHE a little bit early, and I was actually sorry to do so. My "family" is really cool--all of them are nice and even though I've only been to one other FHE this semester I felt really comfortable with them.

One girl was all asking questions about my life and I was sort of surprised at how much she knew. Then I remembered that she's in the RS presidency and I figured that was why. But it she seemed genuinely interested.

We made turkeys out paper. You know, where you trace your hand on paper and cut it out. It was fun. I'm going to give mine to Jacob like I'm a five-year-old.

I was the first to leave. Everyone thanked me for coming and encouraged me to try to come more often. I think I will.

Visit

2007-11-18T22:29:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I get discouraged with visiting teaching. The lesson may be boring, or the teachers may seem like they're just there because they have to be. And I admit, I'm not the best visiting teacher. Sometimes it just seems like a big hassle.

And then there's Tricia. I have never had a visiting teacher like her. She was my VT during spring semester, and now that she's RS president, she made sure that she was my VT again.

She's one of those girls that I just clicked with immediately. I thought it was kind of funny actually, that I would click with someone like her--she's blonde, bubbly, social, very girly, sometimes ditsy--a combination of qualities that would normally annoy.

But she's different. We can carry on a conversation for a great length of time. She dishes out compliments like there's no tomorrow, but it's never fake. She really means her compliments. I also can tell that she greatly enjoys visiting me. She pays attention to my life, checks up on me, insisted on meeting Jacob... And I know she prays for me.

I asked her to say the opening prayer tonight. I was incredibly grateful for the prayer she offered in my behalf, asking the Lord to help me, thanking God for my blessings, and thanking him for blessing her life and the lives of others through me. Some of the things she said in the prayer were things I hadn't specifically told her. And when someone loves you enough that she'll listen to the promptings of the Spirit and pray sincerely for you...well...that's just amazing.

She always leaves me with a hug and an "I love you." I wave good-bye, suddenly wanting to be a better person and thinking that she'll never know the gift she has or how she has made my life a little sweeter just by being in it.

Apologies?

2007-11-13T09:53:00.000-08:00

So it's been a really long time.

Okay before I continue I just want to say that every character I type extends the "save now" button underneath this window... It just stopped. Too bad. It would have been cool to see it take over the entire screen.

But yeah. It's been a while. I didn't die. I've just had a lot on my plate this semester. Mostly school. Academically, I have never had to work so hard in my life. It was probably a mistake to take two computer classes. Between writing Java programs, doing mega confusing worksheets, spending 4-12 hours a week in a lab, and studying for tests, I have tried to keep up in my other three classes, with a half-credit class on the side. And I was sick this weekend.

I'm really looking forward to next semester. Mostly because I have a pretty nice schedule, and because I'm going to be taking a conducting class and a carillon class. I figure I'll never play in a bell tower again, but it will be cool to say I've done it. Plus it satisfies a requirement for my minor...

Hopefully next semester I'll be able to hang out with you more. No guarantees (I am taking a physics class and a computer class, and I'm trying to get a job), but I'll try to be less anti-social than I was this semester.

Life is really great though. I'm really very happy. Sometimes school is overwhelming (this week, cough cough) but it doesn't get me down. My roommates are fantastically hilarious and easy to live with, my friends are amazing, Jacob is amazing, and next week I get to see my family (and maybe play Guitar Hero III).

So I'm sorry if I've been unavailable, or if I haven't talked to you in a while or whatever. Don't take it personally.

I went through my saved emails today...

2007-10-30T18:02:00.000-07:00

...and I found this. I wrote this my sophomore year in high school I believe. One of those days where I went home early because of a choir thing and I was bored.

To Whom It May Concern:

A recent study of crabs in the O-zone layer has shown that the hard shell of a crab is impenetrable to the UV light from the sun. Scientists have begun the dissection of thousands of our underwater friends to create a giant crab-shell shield around the earth. Crab-lovers everywhere are protesting by holding lobsters hostage until our side-walking allies are released. The production of flashlights and light bulbs is on the rise because no one is sure how the people of earth will be able to see with a giant shell-shield blocking the sun's light.

The crabs seem to be on to the scientists--they have disappeared from beaches everywhere--and are now hosting an enormous International Underwater Convention For the Protection of Sea Critters aboard the deck of the Titanic. Several crabs were spotted off the coast of Antarctica making snowcrabs. An astronaut claims to have seen a miniature space pod piloted by two crabs heading toward Mars.

Scientists continue their pursuit of our six-legged two-pincered buddies, but these crabs aren't going down without a fight.

To support the protests of this heinous crime, call toll free: 1-800-SAVETHECRABS.

Gosh I was (am?) weird. I sent this email to about ten different people. One girl actually believed it. But that's not even the best part. Last year, when I told the Native about this, he actually called 1-800-SAVETHECRABS and he got a machine for some save-the-children organization.

It's been over a week

2007-10-30T08:24:00.000-07:00

That never happens. I'm usually addicted to blogging. But this last week+ has been crazy.

I had two midterms this weekend, both of which I did well on, so that's good. I've had tons of homework and projects and labs... The most recent lab is due today. I spent six hours in the lab on Saturday, five hours yesterday, and in about twenty minutes I'm going to go put the finishing touches on it. I'm tired of that class. Especially since it prevented me from going with AtP to visit Samantha. :(

Things with Jacob are really good. We carved pumpkins Saturday night, which was quite enjoyable after spending all day in the Clyde building. We sort of had some communication glitches this week, but the past two nights we've had some really good chats and last night I went home with a huge smile on my face.

Everything else is going well. I'm going to Arizona with my family for Thanksgiving, so that should be fun. I'm sorry if I haven't seen a lot of you in a while. Life has just been crazy. Hence the lack of posts. And it's not Jacob's fault either--I'm pretty sure he's missed my blogs too.

School should be calming down a bit after this week, so if any of you would like to do lunch or something I'd be delighted to hear from you.

Post 200: For Guillermo

2007-10-16T08:35:00.001-07:00

Guillermo, aka Klobas, Klo-bizzle, and my adopted big brother, was the inspirator (which I don't think is really a word, but I like it anyway) for this blog. He has made a demand for cake.

And since this is my 200th post, just for Guillermo, I give you cake.

First we have a scrumptious-looking cockroach cake. It can survive a nuclear holocaust.

Next, in case you just can't get enough cholesterol, we have the hamburger cake.

If you like explosions, maybe the volcano cake is the one for you. The lava is edible, but has a consistency similar to that of toothpaste.

Okay so this one actually looks like a baby...but it's a cake...

This one is for your inner bad boy.

This is one of the coolest wedding cakes I've ever seen. That's Mario and Princess Peach if you can't tell.

So...this next one is really cool because it combines the two great Goodnesses(es) of music and cake.

Okay this one is just cool. Admit it.

And last, but not least, a cake for bloggers. Complete with joy stick.

Well I hope you had your fill of cake, mon frere. That means brother in French. I don't even know why I know that--I took four years of Spanish!

And there's your Arrested Development reference.

Yay! Happy 200th post to me.

Just my luck

2007-10-12T18:31:00.001-07:00

So I was leaving campus (for the second time today) around 6:20 when this guy comes up to me and asks if I'm in the 22nd ward. I responded that I was and he asked if, since we live near each other, he could walk home with me. I was glad to have some company on the way home; plus if I had said no, we still would have taken the same route home, which would have been awkward.

He was a really nice guy, and taller than me. Not cute, but not ugly. I could see how if you liked him you might think he's cute. He asked me the regular questions: Where are you from? What are you studying? Why haven't I seen you at dessert night? etc.

He told me he's studying geography and that he makes maps. I almost laughed because it reminded me of an Arrested Development episode(I think it's the first or second one from the first season) where Buster is studying cartography and someone asks him, "Hasn't everything pretty much been discovered and mapped?" But I didn't laugh, and I resisted the urge to ask this question. He seemed very nice, after all, and I wanted to return the favor. It was a pleasant walk home.

Similar type of story: I'm in a couple of computer/electrical engineering classes where there are typically 1-5 girls per class. Guys talk to me. Nothing particularly flirty--let's face it, their social skills are usually pretty pathetic--but they talk to me.

Guys in my music class talk to me sometimes too. I usually don't talk back very much--that class and the people in it annoy me because it's a 101 class. But still.

I just thought it was funny--some guy that noticed me at church(and he must have really noticed me because I haven't been to our ward for several weeks, and I know I haven't met that guy before), decides to talk with me and walk me home, random guys in my classes are initiating conversations; I mean, where were they two months ago when I was dateless and manless? Don't get me wrong--Jacob is fantastic and I certainly wouldn't trade him in for a cartographer or a geeky computer kid--but I just think it's hilarious that suddenly I have boys talking to me now, when I'm not available.

Just an observation of how cruel and cold the universe is. Just kidding. Jacob's amazing.

Boip

2007-10-11T11:44:00.000-07:00

It's so nice to just relax. Seriously. I had a midterm on Friday. And on Monday. And on Tuesday. And on Wednesday. For one of those midterms I went through 7 chapters of slides and Cornell-noted the hell out of them. I got an 80 on that test, which was good enough for me. That class is hard. I got a 95 on my music midterm, and 100 on my religion midterm, so that was good. I don't know about the other one, but I think I got a B.

And now, believe it or not, I'm listening to the Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack. It's one of my all-time favorite movies. Jacob got it for me for Columbus Day (don't ask) so he and I watched it the other night with Peas. Le sigh. I love it.

I really don't know what to write about. I think that's why I haven't blogged this week. Life is good. I'm happy, school is going well, I love my roommates and friends... *Shrug.* I'm content. I just suddenly have blogger's block.

Well, I hope you all are doing well. You have my love.

Dad

2007-10-04T15:37:00.000-07:00

I've never been super close to my parents. I mean, I love them, and they love me, and I feel like they were/are pretty good parents, but I've never really had any desire to confide in them. I just really like my independence. I rarely asked them for help with homework, I never told them about boys I liked, and I just didn't rely on them emotionally. I'm not really sure why that is, but it just is.

That's probably why moving to Provo was so easy for me--I didn't really leave behind any huge emotional support. But being away from them really has made me appreciate them more. I have a lot of memories that I'm very fond of--listening/dancing to music with my dad, cooking with my mom, playing games with my entire family... It always makes me smile to think about the fun times I've had with them. I love them dearly.

We still aren't very close. I call them once a week. Talking with them during the week is rare and is always a surprise. I've been trying to tell them more about my life because I want them to feel included and because I want them to be a part of my life in some small way or another. It was sort of a big deal for me to tell my mom that I'm dating Jacob. But we're getting better at talking. It's one of my favorite things to hear my mom's excited voice telling me something new about the family or what she's been up to. I really love those moments.

I'm closer to my mom than my dad. In a lot of ways. People always tell me I'm just like my mom, and I know it's true. She and I are better at talking and at spending time together.

Dad is trickier though. Some of my dearest memories are spending time with him as a little girl; in fact, I'm sure I spent more time with him when I was little than I did with my mom. But then I became a teenager and my interests changed. It was very gradual, and I don't think it was a bad thing, but we just weren't super close. We didn't have any huge conflicts though, so I still enjoyed spending time with him.

We never went to any father/daughter events. Sometimes I was glad he wasn't that kind of dad. Sometimes I wished he would ask if I wanted to go. Sometimes I thought about asking him, but I just thought it might end up being awkward because we'd run out of things to talk about. So we never went. I don't really mind that. It's just interesting to note.

I've always thought he was really cool though. Seriously, I think my dad is one of the coolest people I know. It's one of the reasons I'm really proud to be a Pedersen. He's just so cool. He's hilarious and weird, he works hard, he's way smart, he's way spiritual and he understands a lot of really deep doctrine in a really simple way, he's generous and giving, he's a good speaker, he loves movies and games, he's a natural leader, he's laid back and fun, and he's incredibly selfless.

The past year, I've noticed that I take after him in more ways than I previously thought. And I like that. A lot.

He doesn't talk much on the phone. I'll tell him about my life and then ask what's new. His response is usually along the lines of, "Nothing new. Everything's the same. Pretty boring." I don't really like that. I'm trying to connect with this man that gave me half of my genes, and he has nothing to say. My sister assures me he's like that with her too though, so at least I know it's nothing personal. I guess I just noticed that he's quieter lately. When I went home this summer I noticed he's quieter. He's getting older too. Nothing drastic, but it sort of made me sad.

I got home today was washing some dishes when my phone started buzzing. The screen displayed, "Dad cell." I actually thought it might be my mom calling from his phone--after all, why would he be calling me on a Thursday afternoon?

It actually was him. I said hello and asked what was up. He responded, "Not much, I just hadn't talked to you in almost two weeks so I thought I'd give you a call." That is seriously one of the best things he's ever said to me. He was calling just to talk to me. That really meant a lot.

So he started by asking how school is going, if I think I'm going to get good grades, etc. We talked about Calculus because my little brother Handsome is also taking it. Dad talked a bit about when he took Calculus, and then he asked about my other classes. He and my mom are on vacation now so I asked how that was going. He actually responded with more than one sentence. We talked about Thanksgiving plans and then he asked me all about Jacob. Multiple questions. He actually sounded interested, like he wanted to know all about my life. We even laughed a bit.

We hung up and the tears came immediately. It was only a 15 minutes, but it was one of the best phone calls I've ever had.

This week the trend

2007-10-04T08:25:00.000-07:00

So I love going to FHE at the Matis's. Not only are the speakers always really good, it seems like each time there are more and more people I know. I was really glad to see Potentate and the Gymnast there (I didn't name the Gymnast--I've heard that's what he's called--correct me if I'm wrong). And Glee brought his mom, who had amazing hair. AtP wanted to hide small African children in it, but I'm pretty sure he didn't have any with him. I also got to see DanishBoy, which is always a joy. He's definitely one of my favorite people--just sweet all around. Plus he gives really good back rubs. :) (I promise, DanishBoy, I'm not just using you for your gifted fingers.)

Anyway, I just love going. I always get something out of the lesson, and then I get to socialize in an environment that is just filled to the brim with love.

Jacob and I went to the Instrumental Showcase last night on campus. It was really fun to go on an official date with him, and he was fabulous company. I loved that he listened and enjoyed the concert, that he knew some of the pieces before they were played, and that I could have an intelligent musical conversation with him about it afterwards. It was a good concert too. There were things I didn't like, but there was plenty that I did like. Peas was in the Wind Symphony and she was amazing. Her group was my favorite.

The fire alarm went off during the third piece of the concert. The piece happened to be Ghost Train by Eric Whitacre, and the alarm went off at the most intense part. The best part of this was, though, was that immediately after the piece ended (and it ended quite dramatically) the fire announcement said, "Please evacuate the building." Everyone laughed, including the conductor, who had hardly had time to drop his hands. It was funny, until the entire contents of the DeJong concert hall attempted to exit the HFAC all at once. Then it was just annoying.

We got SmartCookie after though, which is always good.

PS I've almost reached 200 posts. Holy. Crap.

Update No.5

2007-09-24T21:06:00.000-07:00

Okay so I'm mostly done. I just wanted to blog about Sunday. I was in a pretty irreverent mood (I blame spending two straight (gay) days with Samantha and AtP for that) but luckily Peas was too. Jacob came with us to church and the three of us giggled through Sunday school. We decided it wouldn't be a good idea to stay for the last hour, so we didn't.

We lounged about for a while, then Jacob and I went to my grandparents house. We played Rook--girls versus guys--and the guys totally kicked our trash. Jacob got the hang of the game way faster than I had expected him to. It was really fun though, and Grandma's food is always amazing.

Aunt Shelly told us a great story too. Apparently in American Fork there is a school for mentally handicapped people that can't really function in society. Once when my dad was a toddler, Grandpa was out in the backyard playing with him and the girls. The neighbor called Grandma and said, "One of them retards has escaped and is with your kids in the backyard!" Grandma's reply was, "No, that's just my husband." My grandpa was mistaken for a retard. Wow.

Anyway. Later I went with Jacob to his friend's house. He and this friend had grown up together and hadn't seen each other for a while so they had fun reminiscing on their childhood. The people there were all pretty cool so I had fun, although I didn't understand anything when they all started speaking Spanish. Ex-Roommate C used to do that. It was okay though. We all had some good conversations about books and stuff, and Jacob's friend was really cool. I also tried an Argentinian drink called mate, which tasted like liquid green beans. It was sort of disgusting, but it was one of those things where you just keep drinking it anyway and you don't really know why.

Then it was really cold and we made Ghirardelli hot chocolate at my house.

I was sad to go to school again. Good thing tomorrow is Tuesday. Only two classes. Huzzah.

Update No.4

2007-09-24T20:50:00.001-07:00

Dinner and after at the EG Conference:

Highlights:

~Getting to know Glasses and Pinetree better was fabulous. I made a point of getting their phone numbers.

~Smurf came for dinner and the devotional. He was at a different table than we were, but he text me after the awards ceremony started suggesting we escape. He followed me out, followed by Sully and AtP, who suggested we hide in the somewhat large closet he had just discovered. Jokes followed. AtP and Sully returned to the ceremony for some reason though, so Smurf and I left. We contemplated swimming in the reflecting pool in front of the temple, but it was too cold so we just went and washed his sweatshirt instead.

~The main speaker for the devotional was Michael McLean, who is pretty well-known in the Mormon music world. He was a pretty hilarious speaker, but he wasn't the greatest singer. Peas pointed out that he sounded like Mr. Rogers. He knew he wasn't a singer though so that was good. He actually made some good points. I really liked his thoughts on the story about Peter walking on water. And I think I'm going to have to save the texts AtP sent me. Ha.

~On the way back to Provo, an acquaintance of mine who is friends with AtP called and came out to me. We basically decided to be BFF's, and he came over to AtP's house for a little while. Jacob was there too, along with Samantha and family and various other Moho's. Glasses even came. I was asleep for the majority of the time I was there, but it was still fun. I was sad to say goodbye to everyone, but I was way tired.

It was crazy but fun. I haven't called my mom yet to tell her about it, but I plan on calling her tomorrow. I don't know if I'll go next year or not--I'll at least go for the devotional--but I'm really glad I went. I actually did get a few really good things out of it and made a few new friends. Yay!

Update No.3

2007-09-24T20:29:00.000-07:00

Day two of the Evergreen Conference:

Highlights include:

~AtP said he would pick me up at 7:30. This time it was his fault, but he didn't wake up until 7:25.

~AtP, Samantha, and I didn't like our choices for the first class, so we decided not to go. The hallway smelled horribly, so we got some Febreeze out of AtP's car and followed Samantha as she surreptitiously sprayed it. Somehow we ended up hiding in the hallway giggling.

~Still ditching, we filled out surveys and questions, which caused much more laughter. I even filled out a "strugglers" survey as a straight person.

~We went to this great class about innate goodness. About how we always have trouble believing that we are good, no matter how much evidence there is. The presenter was this amazing woman. I really enjoyed it.

~I returned to the cute lesbian's class--this time it was on true femininity. She had a lot of good points on what femininity is and isn't, and then we got into a really interesting discussion about lesbian stereotypes. I escaped when it started getting slightly heated, but it was a good class nonetheless.

~Time for the story about the random kid who I will call Glasses. This one time I met Glasses' brother in the Wilk, and I thought he was cute so I gave him my number. He never called me, but Sunshine called him once and set up a lunch date. So she and I and Glasses and Brother had lunch together once. Also, Glasses once came over to our house to play games. But I hadn't seen him since. Until the EG Conference. He had come alone, having never met any other Moho's before. I totally wanted to be his friend, so he and Pinetree convinced me to go with them to the extra workshop instead of watching the Joseph Smith movie.

~The extra workshop was very interesting for me. I learned a lot about the organization of Evergreen and about women "strugglers" (which is such a horrible term, by the way). After the class, some old people started talking to Pinetree; Glasses and I stuck around and it ended up being a very interesting conversation.

Update No.2

2007-09-24T19:57:00.000-07:00

Day One of the Evergreen Conference

Highlights include:
~AtP said he would pick me up at 7:10 am. Unfortunately, Original Mohomie set the alarm incorrectly (it was the AM/PM) and he didn't wake up until 7:21 am.
~One of the speakers said, "The miracle of Evergreen." It was sort of hilarious.
~We went to the cute Presbyterian lesbian's class about our relationships with men and God. I actually quite enjoyed it.
~Pinetree had lunch with us, which was great because I got to know him better.
~I saw this random kid that I had met before!!! I'll tell this story when I talk about Saturday.
~AtP and I went to a class presented by Chris Dietzel, who is absolutely amazing. Her outlook on life was so enthusiastic and positive. I really got a lot out of her presentation about achieving happiness through the Atonement. She has a blog, which I haven't visited yet, but I definitely will. Her URL is www.miracleswithjeff.blogspot.com.
~We ditched the barbecue and returned to Provo for dinner. Peas came, and I got to meet Sully and Samantha's son DJ, who were both hilarious and really cool. DJ has amazing gaydar. And Sully has a laugh that is almost as loud as AtP's. Needless to say, there were a lot of people staring in our direction. Oh yeah, and Darrin is the coolest gay straight man of all time.

I told Jacob all about my day and he thought it was cool. He was really great about me going to the conference. He's amazing.

Update No.1

2007-09-24T18:48:00.000-07:00

Last week was...crazy. I had to do my homework 2-4 days in advance, which was sort of stressful. But I did it. And finally--finally--I have time to relax and post about all the things I've wanted to.

First things first. Boy needs a better name. I could go back to his old name--the name he posts under--but that's not a name I assigned him. It's just a nickname that he's had for a while and I sort of want to name him myself. So from here on out his name will be Jacob. I'll leave it to you to figure out why. Also, Jenni Bean shall hereafter be called Peas.

Let's start with Wednesday. It had been exactly a week since Jacob and I had started dating, so we celebrated by making cinnamon rolls and hot chocolate. Unfortunately, I had a ton of homework to do in advance, so it wasn't much of a celebration, but still. A week is the longest I have ever officially been in a relationship (don't think I'm a total loser though--I was in an unofficial relationship for a year once) so it was worth celebrating. Yay.

Thursday was. Many things. I skipped a class, went to a class that I should/could have skipped, and took a test that I hadn't studied for. I rushed home to put some clothes in the wash, picked up Jacob, then headed off to Bajio for lunch with Sharky and Arnold who were in town for the weekend. Arnold harassed me mercilessly every time Jacob was out of earshot; it was hilarious. Sharky rambled about how she's not really thrilled with teaching high school PE and about how dumb it was that the JKHB is now called the JKB. I love those two.

The four of us then proceeded to the grandparents house where we ate homemade raspberry pie and banana bread and taught Jacob how to play Rook. He was a huge hit with everyone and he picked up the game very well. We also played Joker, complete with sound effects (I'd be happy to demonstrate for you some time), which is a game that was invented by one of Sharky's friends.

I sadly said goodbye to Sharky and Arnold (I wouldn't be able to see them again because of the EG Conference) and we headed off to Zupas. The Samantha and Darrin were there, along with a plethora of Moho's. I didn't really get to talk with everyone, but I did meet two lesbians who seemed very cool. And sitting next to AtP is always a joy/entertainment. Oh, and for my Moho's, Jacob thinks you all are way cool and hilarious.

I couldn't stay long because I had bell rehearsal (which was fun in most ways). After that I just watched TV at Jacob's house and then went to bed early--Friday was going to be a long day.

For the stupid males out there. And then some delightfulness.

2007-09-16T21:38:00.001-07:00

So this is just me saying that if you are a guy and you ever treat one of my girlfriends like crap, stay away because I will have nothing good to say to you. In the past couple of months, several of my girlfriends have been mistreated by jerky boys and it really bothers me. It hurts me to see them get hurt. I can't imagine that the Savior would be happy to hear that you treated a daughter of God so disrespectfully. I know I'm not.

With that said, I have had a fabulous week. And I'm really looking forward to this next one. I get to see Sharky and Arnold on Thursday, then Samantha that night, and then there's the EG Conference this weekend. Holy amazing.

QotD

2007-09-14T13:12:00.000-07:00

"Why are you self-checking me out?"
--Brady

Walmart.

2007-09-13T14:56:00.000-07:00

AtP and I have had many many grand adventures at Walmart.

Today though, I helped him shop for makeup.

...

I'm in love with that boy.

An update

2007-09-11T13:28:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone. It's been a while since I've posted (a while, meaning several days...) and I thought I'd post a little something.

First of all, Boy and I have patched up things very well; let's just say Stephalumpagus isn't technically single anymore... Also, classes have been going very well. In one of my classes I'm the only girl, which is slightly hilarious, and none of them seem impossibly difficult. Hopefully I can get my GPA back up to a point where BYU will see fit to give me scholarship money.

In other news, next weekend is the EG Conference, which I'm so excited for (assuming AtP registers sometime soon--we're supposed to be going together). So if you're going, please find me there because I want to see everyone!!!

Also, I have the most amazing roommates. I still think it was a gift from God that Jenni Bean was my roommate last year. She apparently hasn't gotten sick of me yet because we're roommates again. Elizabeth Bennett becomes more and more cool every day--I adore her. And the newest of the three, Evey (I may have to change her name later), is quite affable and not hard to live with at all. So I basically LOVE my apartment.

Last but not least, I went to FHE at the Matis' house, and it was amazing. I'm not going to post in detail on it--just know that it was glorious. I'm pretty sure everyone felt the Spirit there as Tamu and Keith spoke to us. I just want all of my Moho's to know how much I adore you all. You never cease to amaze me. I actually think I'm going to post on that later...

Anyway, life is fabulous (or, just for Salad, fagulous). Hope you all are doing well. Much love.

Supposed to be doing hw

2007-09-06T16:25:00.000-07:00

I just killed a spider with a fat behind. It was gross. I don't know what it was doing on my floor.

Also I think romance is much too complicated and it's getting annoying.

I kissed a drunk girl

2007-09-05T21:55:00.000-07:00

Okay so I didn't really kiss a drunk girl (sorry AtP), but I just turned on Something Corporate and that's the song that's playing right now. I sort of forgot they existed. It makes me smile to listen to them.

My hands smell like onions from cooking with Brady. I've washed them several times. Hmm.

School is all right. I don't really know what's going on in my computer classes but there are tons of guys so it's cool. Calculus doesn't seem very hard yet (I guess it helps that I've already taken it) and my religion class seems mega easy. I'm going for straight A's this semester to hopefully get my GPA up (I didn't get a scholarship this semester because a 3.65 isn't good enough for BYU). This looks like it will be a good semester. Just don't let me turn into a complete computer geek. Please.

I have amazing friends too. It makes me so happy to spend time with y'all (yeah I just said that--enjoy it because it doesn't happen often). You guys are amazing.

My roommates are also cool. We all get along. It's amazing.

The ward is nice--a guy from the ward said hello to me today as we walked past each other. Nice to know I'm not invisible/anti-social in this ward.

Life is good. I still have random worries, but I don't think life is ever completely worry-free. Things are good. Did I mention I love you all? I love you all.

Telling Mom about Evergreen

2007-09-03T13:18:00.000-07:00

I called my mom today and decided it was time to let her know that I'm going to the EG Conference. I didn't really expect her to fully understand but I did expect her to be supportive. She was not.

She asked why I wanted to go. I told her I have some close friends that are going, that I've wanted to go since last year, that I want to meet some new people, and that I think it might be a good experience for me. She said she wasn't sure how she felt about me going and that she'd "run it past Dad."

I could tell by her voice that she didn't want me to go. It was really surprising--she reacted really well when I told her the Native and some of my other friends are gay. I didn't understand why she was suddenly so against me going to the EG Conference.

There was silence on both ends for a moment, and then she spoke up: "I just don't know how I feel about all this. You know, Brother T just left his family and declared that he's gay." So there it was. My freshman year seminary teacher is gay. To be honest, it didn't surprise me in the least. I had always thought he was. The fact that he left his young wife and two little kids is incredibly sad though.

There was a pause while I thought about these things, and then she said, "It just isn't right."

Her statement really caught me off guard. No, it certainly isn't right that a man completely abandoned his family. But I couldn't help but think of the other possible meaning of the statement. Did she mean that being gay isn't right? I didn't want to believe that's what she meant. She couldn't really think that. She couldn't really believe this is something people choose or ask for. We've talked about this before. I know she understands better than that.

It occurred to me that she might just be upset by the news about Brother T. She knows several women and families that were abandoned by men who chose to go lead gay lifestyles. Maybe this last piece of news was the last straw. Maybe she's just tired of hearing these stories. I tried to look at it from her perspective.

I quickly ensured her that the EG Conference is put on by the Church. I made it clear that it's supposed to help gay members of the Church, and that there would be a GA speaking. Granted, I probably made Evergreen sound much more fabulous than it is in reality, but I wanted to make sure she knew this isn't a gay pride parade. This seemed to make her feel a little better about me going and she again said she'd run it by my dad.

By the end of the conversation she sounded resigned to the fact that I'm going. She said something like, "Well let us know what they say," and we trailed into Labor Day plans, then said goodbye.

But it still sort of made me sad.

Happy Birthday to Me

2007-09-01T11:23:00.000-07:00

It was sort of by accident that I came into the blogging world. A dear friend, linked as "Big Bro" on my sidebar, thought my Yahoo screen name (Stephalumpagus) was quite amusing. It was a name given to me by my dearest Naked Native, and Big Brother told me to create a blog just so I could put Stephalumpagus in the URL.

I told him I didn't think it was a great idea--I mean, what in the world would I say on a blog? And who would read it? He suggested I post on my favorite dinosaur or something of that nature. So, being bored, I created this blog. My first post is about my favorite dinosaur.

Of course, Big Brother was the only person who read it. I continued to post randomly on subjects such as macaroni and the smell of burnt vacuum. I told a few of my other friends to go read my blog, and a couple did, but it mostly became a venue for me to entertain myself.

Then the Native flew out to Utah for the EG Conference (which I'm going to this year!). He met a bunch of people like AtP, Samantha, Darrin, the Baker's Son, and he told me all about them. It was a few days later that he created his blog, with my link at the top. I started getting visits from more people, and I visited their blogs as well. I recognized AtP's and Samantha's blogs right away from the stories the Native had told me, so I began read theirs and many many others.

And that's how I made my way into the Queerosphere. Since then, I've met a lot of people from blogland. It's been absolutely delightful. So happy birthday to me!!! If you read my blog and haven't commented, please do! I'd love to hear from you.

Fruit flies

2007-09-01T11:17:00.000-07:00

Today, referring to the state of our kitchen, Elizabeth Bennett complained: "There are so many fruit flies in here!!!"

Does anyone else see how oddly humorous that is, considering our apartment already has two resident fruit flies?

80's Dancing

2007-08-31T12:43:00.000-07:00

Highlights from a lovely evening with Brady, Gimple, YellowSocks (Brady's very cool younger brother), Glee, Hidden, and some random girls that were actually pretty cool.

Everyone looked fabulous. Even in my hideous outfit I was not overdressed. Gimple sported a half-vest and sweatband, Hidden had an afro, and various neon shoelaces were everywhere.

The music was wonderful to dance to. It seemed clear to me that Gimple's purpose in life is solely to 80's dance. Glee was also a fabulous dancer. I told him I was in love with him and that we should be friends. He was delighted. I got to dance with Gimple, Hidden, and Brady, which was tons of fun for me.

Downstairs there was some "gothic" dancing going on, and at Hidden's request Brady and I went down there for a few minutes (mostly for the air conditioning). It was fun though and Hidden impressed me with his very fluid dancing.

At some point in the evening I told Brady he doesn't dance gay. He misheard me and thought I said he doesn't dance good (which is improper grammar but I suppose it was a valid mistake because the music was quite loud). So he was politely offended and didn't understand when I told him it was a good thing. A little while later we cleared up the misunderstanding and with relief he took my observation for a compliment.

Some couple told the DJ they were engaged. So he dedicated a song to them and gave them some advice: "As a happy divorcee I urge you to think long and hard about this decision." After the song he announced he had a wedding present for them: his attorney's phone number, just in case.

Last, but not least, I have to thank Brady for taking me as his date. It was one of the funnest (most fun?) dates I've ever been on, and he was a perfect gentleman. He always stayed with me and danced with me and didn't mind giving me plenty of hugs even though we were both disgustingly sweaty. When I needed a drink or some air, he'd grab my hand and lead the way, and he even lied to me and told me I didn't look bad in spite of my sweatiness. We were even going to go to Vegas afterward so we could get married but we forgot. Maybe another time. I love you Brady.

It was a fantastic night. Now we just need to have a bonfire so I can burn that dress. Takers?

Dream

2007-08-29T09:19:00.000-07:00

Two [cute] guys asked me for my number. One was a moving guy (courtesy of me watching Seinfeld last night) and the other was just some guy in a crowded place. Details are fuzzy but it was a good dream nonetheless.

Shopping

2007-08-28T14:15:00.001-07:00

So Gimple and Brady convinced me to go 80's dancing with them this Thursday. Brady, who just got to Provo yesterday, called me today to go shopping at DI for 80's apparel. Gimple and new friend Glee were there too. There was much laughter as we explored the men's department, and even more laughter when we got to the women's. There were some fabulous dresses, two of which I modeled for my dear friends, and one of which I ended up purchasing for Thursday night. Now I just need shoes.

We decided to go to Costa Vida for lunch (so good!) and Brady rode with me in my car. We walked hand-in-hand into the restaurant to find Gimple and Glee, also hand-in-hand (I love them for this!!!). "Look at those gay guys!!!" Brady exclaimed, causing both of us to burst into giggles and almost miss our chance to order our food. Unfortunately, neither Gimple nor Glee heard Brady's comment, but we filled them in later.

Brady proposed to me in line even though we were already engaged. I said yes of course--we are madly in love. It was delightful to see him again.

They promised to call me tonight. In the mean time, I decided to be an adult and apply for a job. Now that that's done, I'm going to have a popsicle.

A post

2007-08-26T21:23:00.000-07:00

I've been sort of bored, and haven't had much to say. Things are just moving slowly and I'm actually getting anxious for school to start. Or for someone to call and hang out with me.

Nah I've hung out with people. Just not as much as I usually do. I suppose that's because a lot of my friends still aren't in Provo. That will be changing quickly enough.

I can't quite place it, but there's this smell floating just around my desk area that reminds me of a cheap brand of men's cologne. Now, I haven't had any boys in here, and I certainly don't wear cheap men's cologne, but I still smell it. It's not an awful smell, but I just wonder how it came to exist and why it only stays near my desk.

Sunday school was interesting today. The teacher's name was actually Nephi, and he was pretty laid back. The row of boys behind us was goofing off the entire time, and this one guy in our row made some cynical comment about how people with charity don't let him wallow in sadness when he wants to. He mentioned that his roommate was one of those people, always commenting on how beautiful the flowers and the butterflies are. Jenni Bean suggested to me there might be a few questions he should ask his roommate. All we needed for Sunday school to be complete was AtP sitting with us to laugh loudly and make "snarky" comments.

I made a list of things I need to do tomorrow--there are only three things, and one of them is optional. I sort of hope it's raining so I can go for a walk in the rain. If not, I plan on going to the park on 8th north to read for as long as I feel like it.

Feel free to drop by/call me/IM me at any time. It would probably make my day.

I didn't get up until noon today...

2007-08-22T15:59:00.000-07:00

...and yet I want to take a nap.

I really need to do better with my sleep schedule.

Also

2007-08-19T22:58:00.000-07:00

I made a new friend today.

I have a roll of bubble wrap and I have no idea what to do with it.

AtP was supposed to call me--not the other way around.

I forgive AtP because we had fun today.

I'm going to saran wrap the Masseuse's Porsche.

Sex Talk

2007-08-19T22:11:00.001-07:00

So...Jenni Bean and I were having a very interesting conversation a moment ago about marriage and other things that come with that...

Ahem. Anyway, we were laughing at something a friend said earlier today about a commercial on TV... In the commercial, a girl was lecturing a boy about using a condom so they could have sex in their dorm room. Our friend said something like, "I will never have sex in a dorm room. It's so awkward. I tried it." Naturally, we cracked up (but not with drugs).

So, reflecting on this earlier conversation, we talked about how at normal colleges it wouldn't be weird to walk in on two people...in a dorm...using a condom... Jenni Bean said you could just put a sock or a tie on your door...

Then she asked what I would do if I came home and there was a sock on my door. My response? I would think my roommate was doing laundry.

Only at BYU.

Back in town

2007-08-19T00:21:00.000-07:00

After a long drive, we made it to Utah. Jenni Bean and I unloaded the car and then decided to play. First I went to visit AtP at work, where he gave me one of his fabulous hugs that I love so much and then spilled the latest stories. We didn't finish visiting though--sorry love, I'll buy you lunch--because the Masseuse was at my apartment with some peoples that wanted to see a movie. So I went home to meet up with him, Jenni Bean, and the two boys that claimed to be the Masseuse's neighbors.

We saw Ocean's 13, which felt incredibly long and slow. That could have been because I was so groggy though...

It's nice to be back. I have options. I'm less restricted. I know more people and more places. There are more boys. It's college life, and I've missed it.

2007-08-16T21:04:00.000-07:00

I'm getting anxious. All I want to do is return to Provo. I feel like there's so much waiting for me--friends, a bigger room, and the possibility of meeting new people and starting new things. I feel stagnant here, and tired, and I guess a little bit...sad. There's too much time to think. I'm moving on, but it still hurts. And I'm sure it will continue to hurt for a while.

I really am doing well. Jenni Bean (I think I'll call her that from now on instead of Fat Walrus) arrived yesterday. We went to the beach with Pinky (not from Mr. Pinky's Hefty Hideaway) today and dug a hole. We also played in the old battlements in the hills around SF. It was great fun, but we decided we need guys next time so we won't be so afraid to explore the battlements.

We hung out with MegaMuffin and watched Arrested Development, then Jenni Bean and I went shopping. Now we're watching Dennis the Menace. Meh, it's all right. Not as good as I remember.

*Shrug* So I'm having fun, and I definitely will miss California like crazy, but I'm so excited to get back to Provo and all you peoples that I love.

PS--I totally want to go to the Evergreen Conference and I better see all of you there!!!

Conversation

2007-08-14T12:38:00.000-07:00

I talked to Boy for a couple hours last night.

All my questions were answered. I let him know how I had felt, how I do feel... I hurt him too, which was strangely comforting. It's nice to know I wasn't the only one who had a rough week.

I tried to be nice, but he insisted I hold nothing back. I occasionally made snide comments, but I think we did a good job of being grownups. We talked about exactly what had happened, what mistakes were made, and what misunderstandings there were.

Both of us still want to be friends even though the romance is over. Things are going to be a lot different. I told him I don't want to see him for a while; I need to get into the swing of things in Provo, get back on my feet, heal a little bit. I'll know when I'm ready to see him.

I still have regrets about the whole situation, but they aren't worth dwelling on. I'm still hurt and a little bit angry about what happened; I just need time. Sometimes things happen that just can't be repaired--we can't go back in time and change our actions--and we have to just let it go. Boy knows he was a jerk, he understands that I'm mad, but he can't change what happened or how he feels. And I can't keep harboring resentment. He's done all he can to resolve things with me, now it's just a matter of me moving on.

I'm still a little tender. I just need time. Going back to Provo is going to be good for me.

Oh, and I appreciate all of you that were protective of me--AtP you cracked me up last night--but I don't want to hold on to resentment. I'm really grateful for all the support I was given, but be nice to Boy. It's time to forgive and forget and move on.

Plus I got my hair cut and colored yesterday and I look dead sexy. So which of you Moho's will be taking me on a date first? :)

Contact

2007-08-13T22:01:00.000-07:00

Boy and I just chatted online.

I intend on pumping him for info later (he was at work and couldn't really talk). Apparently his deleting of me on Facebook was in response to a post on my private blog where I told him to "get the hell off this blog." He took it to mean I never wanted to talk to him again. A valid response, I suppose.

I apologized for my anger on that post--it was a gut reaction and I let the anger do all the talking. I let him know I do not in fact want to cut off our friendship but that I do have some questions for him.

It was nice to hear he was depressed about deleting me on Facebook. He said it was really hard to do. I'm glad it wasn't as easy as it looked.

He still owes me a huge explanation. It better be good.

Also, I'm way too nice.

Strength

2007-08-12T13:53:00.000-07:00

The benefit ended last night, and it gave me an incredible boost. I was actually a little be sad to leave all the wonderful people that I love so much and won't be seeing again for several months. Puccini promised to call me this week though so hopefully I will get to see him again before I leave.

I felt very strong on the drive home, and it didn't hurt as much to think about the Boy situation. I was able to think about it very clearly and that gave me more strength--to think that I am getting better, that I am beating pain and hurt.

Though I desperately needed sleep, I got online. PaperTowel was on, and I hadn't talked to him for a while. I decided to tell him about the Boy situation because he knew nothing about it and he's going to be living with Boy this year. So I explained what had happened and how I felt. He was very understanding and sympathetic. It felt good to tell him everything. He promised we would secretly hang out sometime (his girlfriend doesn't like me either, so I doubt I'll be seeing much of him) and I went to bed feeling more confident than I have in over a week.

Church was nice, even though I can't say I was fully attentive. I did get some good things out of the talks and lessons though and I didn't complete botch the song I played in Sacrament meeting. Charlene came and was supportive too so it ended up being a lovely service.

I just talked to Fat Walrus on the phone and we had many laughs about the stupid things we did last semester and the cool people we are excited to see again. I'm feeling lighthearted. I had planned to take a nap today to waste time but now I don't need to. I'm feeling stronger, and although I'm sad about Boy, I know it will get better.

And now back to watching Rush Hour 2 with Dad. Ha.

2007-08-11T13:22:00.000-07:00

I finished eating my cereal this morning just in time to notice it expired almost two months ago. It took me a moment to figure it out though because I couldn't remember what year it is.

It was then that I fully realized I'm more messed up than I've been admitting. Don't get me wrong--things certainly could be worse. But all the anger has gone and I'm just left with a gnawing sadness. I can forget it for small periods of time, and sleeping is much easier than it should be, but waking up in the morning just gets tougher and tougher. Another day. I'm surprised I actually did my hair and makeup today.

Another thing I realized is that the romantic aspect of this mess is bothering me a bit. I meant it when I said I'm okay being single; the problem is I'm not okay with him being taken by someone that isn't me. I miss the way things used to be with him and I, but apparently he's doing well having fun with some other girl.

And no email yet. It's only been a day though. I should give it at least three days before I worry.
I'm hoping things will resolve themselves when I get back to Provo when I can get back into my normal, busy life (read: when I can flirt with guys in my ward and classes, make new friends, and hang with my old friends).

Only one more week. One more week and I'll be busy with things to do instead of sitting around here feeling sick to my stomach.

Though I was dreading the two concerts this weekend, I've been extremely grateful for them.

My night and Nickelodeon

2007-08-10T23:09:00.001-07:00

The concert went really well. I did much better with nerves than usual. I was slightly nervous at the beginning of the Debussy, but it got better and I made it through unscathed. I don't get nervous accompanying Puccini--somehow performing with another person comforts me--so we did really well. I love playing piano for him. He's very professional, has an amazing voice, and is so much fun to work with. We have a really great connection and know how to follow each other. There's something very personal about performing on that level with another person; it's incredible. I really missed that when I was in Provo, and I'm sure I will again. I adore Puccini.

There was a lot of socializing afterwards. IncrediblyNiceCouple (who I had met a couple times before but couldn't remember their names) were there. They remembered me and greeted me with hugs and compliments. Ex-Mayor and Wife were there--they went to Europe with Puccini and I, along with some old Sylvan Singers. Unfortunately they like to talk a lot and they are dreadfully odd, so many of us were trying to avoid them. Puccini somehow managed to escape and left me alone with them. Eventually I was free, so I greeted some of the parents I knew. I later got stuck with Ex-Mayor again for an even longer period of time, and I was afraid to leave him because he looked like he was going to touch the harp (that idea frightens me a lot). I finally scooched him away and escaped. Things died down and I was able to put the harp away and leave.

I went straight for my laptop when I got home, but there was no response from Boy. Of course, it has only been a few hours since I sent the email so I'm not worried yet.

You know, I was thinking about old Nickelodeon shows today. That channel used to be all I watched--Rugrats, Kenan and Kell, All That, Figure it Out, Hey Arnold, Rocket Power, Gulla Gulla Island, Pete and Pete, The Wonder Years, Rocko's Modern Life, Doug, Ah Real Monsters--that channel was off da heazy! And now the only good show is Fairly Oddparents. It's so disappointing. Really. Those old cartoons were especially amazing. I wonder if I could find some of them on DVD...Hmm...

Garage sale tomorrow. Ick. I hate garage sales. Especially since this time I have nothing to sell so I'll be making no money. Maybe I should feign illness. Hmm (again)...

schmanana

2007-08-10T15:54:00.000-07:00

Bah I've been so serious lately on this blog. All this nonsense with Boy. I went and read some other blogs, which made me feel like I'm being petty; all your problems seem so much more serious and you all seem to handle them so maturely... I feel like a complainer.

Then I read Original Mohomie's blog about potato salad and was glad for the laugh. I'm tired of being serious. So I'm taking a break from it for the rest of the day.

It shouldn't be too hard--I have a concert tonight with a bunch of old choir buddies. Puccini and his brothers are hilarious, as is Lafawnduh, who makes me wish there were more black people in Provo. Then there's Pedicure, who I have no trouble having fun with, even though we were never close in high school.

I suppose I should get ready for this concert. I look awful. Ha.

Two and a half more days until I get my hair cut. Four more days until Fat Walrus gets here. Eight more days until I'm back in Provo. So excited.

Decision

2007-08-10T15:18:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning with the same feeling I had last night--an aching in my stomach that has nothing to do with what I ate. I showered and threw on some clothes, not bothering to do my hair, and started reading. It didn't take me long to discover that the more I read, the more I was able to ignore my stomach. So I kept reading.

It wasn't until 3:00 pm that I decided I needed to do something else. I was avoiding getting online because I knew I would have to think about everything again and decided if I was going to email him. Bracing myself, I got online, checked my Facebook, and finally checked my email.

There was an email from LDSLiving or something that informed me of the death of James E. Faust. And for a moment I was wrenched back into the real world, remembering that life isn't merely confined to this house and my thoughts. I felt sad about it, but I knew it was just his time to go. The death of a general authority isn't something I think of as random--I figured God just had some other things in mind for President Faust.

These thoughts were comforting and strengthening to me for some reason, and after reading an email from Fat Walrus (which I think is a much better blog name than Jenn-Jenn-A-Rooski), I made my decision. If I didn't email him, I would always wonder if I should have, and it would drive me crazy forever.

So I did it. It felt surprisingly good to have made a decision, and I pressed the send button with confidence. I guess I'm a little nervous about the answer--if one comes at all--but at least I can say I tried.

Now what? Ha. I'm typing this blog and wondering if I should go back to reading. After beating Guitar Hero, there's nothing to do around here...

Three days after...?

2007-08-09T22:49:00.000-07:00

I've been doing really well. The anger has died down to a low annoyance level. Unfortunately, the sadness started to set in.

I really am beyond the romantic sadness. I meant it when I said I'm fine being single, especially since he and I weren't officially dating. What bothers me is that he didn't even attempt to salvage our friendship. He didn't ask if we could still be friends. He didn't ask if he could still call me sometime. I mean, even before there was any romance, we had so much fun together. We hung out a lot. And suddenly, that's worth absolutely nothing to him at all.

It hurts that we lost what I thought was a great friendship. He even deleted me and our photo album from Facebook. I've been cut off, thrown out of his life like an old shoe.

All I want is to know that he's a little bit sad too. Then it would at least seem like it was worth it.

I thought about sending him an email. Just to voice my thoughts and ask for his. I don't know if he would actually respond, or what his response would be. But it's killing me thinking that all those good times weren't really good, that they were all fake and just a waste of time.

But then I'm afraid I'll regret emailing him. Maybe he'll just hurt me more. Or maybe he'll apologize and I'll crumble and let him get off easy.

This just hurts.

The day after

2007-08-07T20:43:00.000-07:00

The day after is always the hardest.

It was tough this morning but I went to work because I didn't want to explain to my parents why I was feeling sick to my stomach. I was put on Podium (tearing tickets and pointing people in the direction of their theaters) which is usually the absolute most boring job there is. So I began formulating plans to go home sick. But I was too stubborn. Why should I let some stupid boy's actions upset the normal flow of my life? He's not worth it. I control my life, and I control my happiness.

So I stayed at work. And you know what, I had a fabulous day. The managers kept having me do random jobs which kept me occupied, and--this is so nerdy, I know, but I just can't help it sometimes--I worked out the entire unit circle on my movie schedule. I needed to review it anyway, and I soon found that after a couple of hours I was in a really good mood.

Handsome came to see a movie and we chatted for a while. Some random old lady kept asking my where a whole bunch of different movies, "just in case I don't like the one I'm going to." I refused to give her the theater numbers so she could movie-hop (we kick people out for that), and she got all huffy and said she wasn't coming to Brenden anymore. Ha. Yeah right. We're the only movie theater in Vacaville. And who wants to go to the one in Fairfield? Handsome and I had a good chuckle about it.

I laughed later too when an old lady informed me that the women's bathroom was a "disgrace." A disgrace to what, I wondered. I can only imagine.

Just before I left, a manager informed me that last Saturday I sold the more combos than anyone else. She presented me with a free movie pass, which is nice because even though I get to see movies for free, I don't get to see them for free right when they come out. It just ended my workday nicely.

I came home to a tasty dinner and more laughs with Handsome, then I beat "Hangar 18" on Guitar Hero, a song that I had been stuck on for a very long time. It also happens to be the second to last song, which means I only have one more song to beat, and then I'll have beaten the game on Expert. That's right suckas.

And now I'm watching "Arrested Development" with Handsome and his friends.

The Boy situation still makes me mad, but it's only a small part of my life. I haven't cried about this--he's not worth it. I don't need romance to make me happy. There's so much more to life. I have amazing friends and a hilarious family, I go to a good school and I have the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I'm doing well, I had a wonderful day, and I'm more excited than ever to return to Provo and see you all again.

Stephalumpagus is 100% single, and 100% fine with it.

Personality Test

2007-08-05T21:31:00.000-07:00

I got this from the Jerman. I can't say I agree entirely with everything, but this is a pretty darn good personality test.

These are my results:

My personalDNA Report

The Native strikes again

2007-08-03T11:52:00.000-07:00

The Native called me just after I finished that last post. We spent a good deal of time deciphering a Brazilian address that I needed, hoping that we hadn't screwed up the spelling or anything. Then he gushed out a bunch of newly-discovered dark family secrets that were utterly hilarious. Somehow we ended up talking about his money situation and he again considered the pros and cons of selling himself on a street corner. But in the end he promised to guard his carnal treasure.

And so my defiance has faded. What can I say? The man knows me.

Rough night

2007-08-03T10:49:00.000-07:00

I woke up suddenly at 2 am with the instantaneous knowledge that the phone call I had been waiting for didn't come. I managed to fall asleep again, but my dreams were loud and fast-paced; when I woke up again around 3 am I felt more tired than I had before. It didn't help that I gave blood yesterday and my body had already been tired.

The dreams included three people--Puccini, BlueHair, and myself. All the songs we do together were running through my head at the same time, rather loudly, and all I could see was the music jumbled together. It moved much to quickly for me to keep up, but still I was being dragged through it, and it wouldn't stop. I kept waking up feeling exhausted. I curled up in as tight of a ball as I could, clutching my pillow, and pulling the covers tightly around me. I managed to clear my head for a small amount of time by mentally singing a hymn, but I don't know how long that lasted.

I must have fallen asleep eventually because my body skipped my first biological alarm and very nearly missed the second. When I woke up, I was less tired than I had expected, but I had that stressed-out feeling like I was late for something.

Now I just feel sort of defiant.

Maybe going shopping will help.

For no reason

2007-07-30T14:02:00.000-07:00

It's been a few days. Friday and Saturday weren't very good. I was incredibly irritable with a horrible headache. I have no idea why. I still can't figure out why every little thing was upsetting me. That in itself is irritating.

I was much better yesterday--again, for no reason that I could pinpoint. Sacrament meeting was good, but the rest of the day wasn't anything special. In fact, I think I paid even less attention than usual. Then I spent almost five hours at the stake center playing a synthesizer for a youth choir practice and then performance.

I'm not sure how I am today. Gogie called me early this morning and it was nice to talk to him. Then I slept in for a while and took my time getting ready. I'm not in a bad mood, but I'm not particularly jolly either.

I suppose I just need to control my emotions better or something. Hopefully hanging out with Master P later will cheer me up.

*Sigh*

Not quite as expected

2007-07-26T21:14:00.001-07:00

My previous expectations for the summer: Go home. Love it for a maximum of two weeks. Get annoyed with family. Suffer the rest of the summer missing life in Provo. Return to Provo.

How it has actually gone: I've loved being home way more than I had anticipated, and for much longer. I haven't gotten sick of my family; on the contrary, I love spending time with them. The really weird thing is that I'm starting to miss Provo, not because I'm sick of my family, but because I actually miss it.

With a few exceptions, I haven't been very good at keeping in contact with my Provo friends. I have plenty of friends here, which I also had not anticipated. And I keep busy with two jobs. But it's just not the same. I miss the routine of Provo. I miss the people I usually saw on a regular basis. I miss going to Zupas, coming home to my little apartment, chatting with my roommates, staying out really late... I miss the groups of people I hung out with.

Life here is fabulous, but it's different. I just suddenly have this feeling I'm getting into a routine here that I don't like as much as my routine there. Slightly depressing.

The Native called me today. We haven't been talking as much as we used to, which is fine because we both know our friendship is to the point where pretty much nothing could affect it negatively, but it was a pleasant surprise nonetheless. Hearing his voice was so normal; I didn't realize how much I have missed him the past couple of weeks. He told me about the latest girl that foisted her number upon him, and we played with the idea of him telling her he just doesn't like girls. I'm supposed to call him tomorrow and I really look forward to it.

I think talking to him just confirmed what I have been feeling all day--I was very happy with my life in Provo. Coming home was definitely necessary, and I'm glad I did it, but I think I'm just ready to come back.

August 18th. Three weeks and one day.

*Sigh*

I miss you guys.

Conversations with Handsome

2007-07-23T21:51:00.000-07:00

Handsome: Why would you ever read a book if it wasn't for fun?
Stephalumpagus: Maybe because books aren't always meant for entertainment purposes. Why do you read the Book of Mormon?
Handsome: Ahh....because....the Book of Mormon is fun.
Stephalumpagus: [laughing, with heavy sarcasm] Right. Like you aren't just trying to make excuses.

Handsome: Could you die from eating too many brownies?
Stephalumpagus: You could die from eating too much anything.
Handsome: No, but not from your stomach exploding or whatever. I mean, could you die from that much sugar or fat?
Stephalumpagus: I don't know.
Handsome: Hmm I wonder how long you could last on an island with only brownies...

Hmm.

2007-07-20T17:12:00.000-07:00

This whole blogging business is sort of weird sometimes. I like to know people are reading, and I like to get feedback. When I don't want anyone to read what I'm feeling, I post on my secret blog where no one will read it.

There are some days when I can't decide if I want people to know what I'm feeling. There might be specific people that I hope will read it. And yet, I don't always want the entire blogging community to read it because I don't want everyone to be alarmed.

I could just talk to those specific people privately. But then again, seeking them out to speak to might make the situation seem more drastic than it is. I just want to voice my random thoughts and not worry about people worrying about me.

Hmm. Maybe I need to start a whole new blog--one that is completely anonymous, but one that people actually read. Not today, but perhaps soon. Perhaps. Of course I wouldn't get rid of this blog either...

Okay now I'm just rambling. Time to go.

My house

2007-07-19T22:10:00.000-07:00

This house soothes me. I love looking out into our backyard--it's beautiful. The sun was going down behind the palm trees and Josh Groban was singing on the stereo that is my brain. Now it's all dark and the many (MANY) clocks we have are tick-ticking away. I can hear the TV on in my parents' room upstairs. My eyelids are slightly droopy.

I was supposed to go see a movie with Char and Cuorderoy, but early in the day I knew I would be in no mood for that. So I apologized and told them something had come up. I got a few things done that I had been meaning to do--emailed my old piano teacher that had somehow found me on MySpace, practiced piano, checked my Facebook, called the Native--so I feel like I was productive.

Sometimes I wish time would go by faster. Not because I want the summer to be over, or because I'm sick of my family, but because there are some things that just need time. I can be very impatient, and I think that has something to do with this. I just want to know what's going to happen in my life. I don't want to wait.

I surprised myself today by being incredibly patient.

In spite of this soothing house, and my eyelids drooping, I'm a little bit lonely tonight. That's not a plea for comments or emails or phone calls. It's just a statement.

I think I'll go have some ice cream.

I actually have girlfriends out here

2007-07-14T23:01:00.000-07:00

Swinger, a friend from high school, was in town this week so we went out to dinner one night. It was actually fun chatting about boys and college and just being girly. I don't do that very often, mostly because I get sick of it, but it's really fun once in a while. Swinger has turned into a complete party girl and I was cracking up about it. My favorite thing she said was, "I have a couple of Mormon girls that are my closest friends in Arizona. And then I have a group of girls to go party with. But they're just a bunch of whores."

Friday after work, Tappy and I went to see Puccini and BlueHair perform at my favorite bakery/cafe downtown. They were fabulous, as usual, and we saw a bunch of old friends from Sylvan Singers, including Fotchachartchay, which was great because I miss having black friends. Puccini had to stay to watch the next girl perform. So Tappy and I explored the Creek Walk, wondering why it was such a popular place to be on a Friday night. We played at the park for a bit, reminiscing about our childhood adventures at this park. Puccini was supposed to practice a song with us after the cafe gig was over, and we were still waiting for him, so we went to Jamba Juice and talked about our romance lives. I get way cuter texts than she does and she's jealous. Haha.

We gave up on Puccini and decided to practice today instead. I took Tappy home and saw Muffin in her car on the way. She invited me to get dessert but I was tired so I declined. I came home and finished a movie with Dad and Harry Potter, went online, and then talked to Gogie on the phone. Now that I think of it, I don't know if it was exactly in that order, but whatever. I fell asleep reading the sixth Harry Potter book.

My little kids had their performances today. They did really well and I had a lot of fun getting them all to sign my program. They are hilarious and I'm glad many of them are returning for the Carnival camp we're starting on Monday. And then I got paid, which is always happy. I beat Guitar Hero on hard today, so then I started on expert and got pretty far. Also I read a lot. Now I'm trying to plan a possible Disneyland trip with Cuorderoy.

I'm tired. But doing well.

Yes I'm doing it too---8 Gay Mormon Facts (although I'm not gay so I suppose this is just 8 Mormon facts...Meh. Lame. How about just 8 random facts?)

2007-07-13T23:00:00.000-07:00

Salad and Drex tagged me so here it goes.

1. All of my fingers, especially my pinkies, turn inward. I think this is from playing the harp, but I don't really know. It could just be a deformity.
2. I'm a hardcore nerd. I think guys with glasses are cute, I love math, I'm always hesitant to ditch class, and until I got to college I had never gotten less than an A in a class. Total bookworm, and I love to analyze little things. Oh and I'm in a handbell choir.
3. I have a really hard time making decisions. The thought of making a wrong decision leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth so I just remain indecisive. The Jerman calls me on it all the time.
4. For some reason I have an affinity for gay people (and Salad). Big surprise, I know. I hecka love and miss you all and I love reading your blogs (which I do read, by the by, even if I don't comment).
5. I almost ran over a homeless man last week. So not my fault--he stepped out in the middle of the highway and decided to wander around.
6. Very few people have ever seen me angry. I'm almost 100% sure none of you bloggers have seen me mad, unless we count the Native who doesn't really blog anymore. However, during my fourth year of girls' camp I made these two girls cry because I yelled at them. I felt so bad I apologized about a half hour later though. It worked out.
7. Of the women in my immediate family, I am the shortest and have the largest feet.
8. Not that I've been diagnosed or anything, but I'm pretty sure I have a little bit of OCD. Sometimes I get really irritated when things aren't done the way I think they should be done. I love things that are contained (AtP and I got way too excited over those citrus dishwasher packets and how amazingly contained they are) and I love buying cleaning products. I don't believe in dirty dishes, and I love organizing things.

I'm too lazy too tag people because I want to go to sleep. But I hope to see a few more of these around because they're fun to read.

A head-scratching day

2007-07-13T00:06:00.000-07:00

I was really tired at the Center today even though I got more sleep than usual. The little kids were sort of crazy and somehow I was left alone with all of them. Being tired combined with my sometimes-more-than-slight OCD and their craziness didn't really put me in a good mood. I wanted to scream at them all. After lunch we started a tech rehearsal though and things calmed down. Puccini gave me a massage without me even asking, and although it was only about 30 seconds long it made me feel so much better. Then we played games with the kids and I actually had a really fun time. They're adorable.

I was home for less than an hour and then I was off to the movies. Not to enjoy myself--to work. It was my first day back in about a year, so only one girl knew me. Everyone else treated me like I was brand new and had no idea what I was doing. I ignored them and was satisfied by showing off my light-speed cashiering skills and whipping through huge lines. I was pretty surprised at how much I remembered, and I caught on to the new things pretty quick. Ariana, the girl that knew me, luckily, was a manager so I had one cool person to hang out with and who actually trusted me with certain jobs. I was pretty annoyed when one of the chiefs of staff gently reprimanded me when I had been doing something productive. I would have died if it weren't for Ariana.

By the time I got off (thank goodness I wasn't closing), my back and my feet were pretty achy, which is normal when you're working at Brenden Theaters. And I felt really greasy. When I got in the car, I checked my phone. A dear friend of mine had something really upsetting happen to her and I was worried but she said she was too upset to talk. So we'll talk tomorrow. I really hadn't seen this coming, so it was kind of weird. And then another person I had texted just two hours before was unable to talk to me tonight. I didn't mind at all, but I wonder what happened.

So I drove home wondering about these things, and luckily my wondering somehow prevented me from speeding like I usually do. The person behind me got pulled over as I was almost home and I realized I had lucked out because I wasn't really paying attention to how fast I was going.

Mom was playing Guitar Hero as usual. I washed up then Facebooked. And now I'm suddenly exhausted. Tomorrow is Friday and I'm sort of excited about it, mostly because I have nothing to do after work. Relaxing sounds so heavenly right now.

Being spiritual

2007-07-08T21:23:00.000-07:00

Before I came home, I wasn't really happy with where I was spiritually. I went to church and actually enjoyed it more than my previous ward, but I still just wasn't really paying attention. So I got myself back into good scripture-reading habits and I was doing all right, but I still just felt like going to church required way too much energy and that it was usually really boring.

Coming home was nice. My first Sunday back was lovely, and I definitely felt the Spirit stronger. But my praying habits sort of got really patchy, and I completely stopped reading the scriptures. It wasn't anything drastic--I was still really happy with my life--but yesterday I noticed.

Nothing specifically happened, but I was driving home from having a good time, and I was suddenly sad. I couldn't figure out why, but I just kept thinking about people I'm worried about, or little things in my life that I'm still not sure of...

The thought occurred to me: Have you prayed about it? No. In fact, I haven't been praying about much lately, I haven't been getting much out of church, and I haven't been reading my scriptures either. In fact, I've basically just been completely neglecting everything spiritual. Well there you go--no wonder you're sad. Facepalm.

As soon as I got home, I read my scriptures and said a mega long prayer. Then I called Gogie and we chatted for a while, so by the time I fell asleep I was feeling quite the opposite of sad.

I paid attention in church today. Okay, I did goof off a little during sacrament meeting with Twitchy, and I spaced off once during Sunday School (I don't know why I love to daydream so much), but I felt the Spirit and listened to the lessons. I actually enjoyed Relief Society, even though I was one of nine people there.

Driving home, I thought about it. Nothing about church today was spectacular or life-changing. But my attitude about it was so much better, and it made a huge difference. I had been neglecting something that was really important. It was like I hadn't washed my hair for a long time--I can live without doing it, but life is SO MUCH BETTER if I do.

And who would have thunk? It feels good.

Childhood

2007-07-04T22:10:00.000-07:00

I've always lived in Vacaville, but until the first grade I lived in what is now dubbed the Old House. I only remember a couple of random things about that house--what the pool "shark" looked like, for instance. Anyway...

The Old House was at the end of a cul de sac, upon which was a wall that separated our street from the street on the other side. There was a little opening in this wall large enough to walk through to the other side. During the summer months, we had swarms (is this the correct term?) of frogs in our yard, many of which would swim around in our pool. They weren't hard to catch, so we would entertain ourselves by taking them through the wall and throwing them into the street on the other side. I suppose this was sort of inhumane, but the frogs looked so funny when they had been run over--like in cartoons when characters get flattened. The only difference was that there would be a wet spot surrounding the flattened frog. Yeah I know that's gross, but we were children.

We used to play with Beanie Babies all the time. Sharky would sing the signal into the intercom and we'd gather upstairs. It wasn't uncommon for our Barbie vehicles and furniture doubled for Beanie Babies toys. We were obsessed with those things--we had many "rare" Beanie Babies that were supposedly worth hundreds of dollars. I think they go for a couple of bucks a piece now on eBay. Figures.

Sharky had this life-sized stuffed pig that she lovingly named Wilbur. Topher and Handsome once kidnapped it and rolled it down the stairs. Sharky cried.

Once when Handsome was misbehaving, we shoved him into the storage room and shut the door. He yelled and cried and banged on the door begging us to let him out. The Rents came and scolded us for locking him in. Our response was that we didn't lock the door--if he would just try the handle he would be free. I think they laughed at that and just left him in there. Later when he was misbehaving we would threaten to put him in "The Room" and he would suddenly be a perfect angel.

I think we were meanest to Handsome. He was the youngest sibling for six years, and then Harry Potter was too young to pick on. Once, at a beach in Hawaii, Handsome's eyes turned red from the salt water. We started chanting "Red-eye Handsome" (his real name lends a better ring to the chant) over and over, but Sharky and Topher had just started learning Spanish in school, so they changed it to "Ojo rojo Handsome." I don't know why he got so mad about it, but his anger only encouraged us, and the name stuck for quite some time.

Handsome's real name is such that it's really easy to slip it into almost any song or jingle. It was irresistable--he would get so mad about it, even though the songs were rarely insulting. It got to the point that we could even hum the tune to one of the songs and he'd get angry. For some reason we thought that was hilarious.

My dad has always been really big on oldies. He made us listen to them as we grew up, and I'd have to admit that I still love them. He used to turn them on in the living room, and we'd all sing and dance to them, jumping off chairs and such. I'm very fond of those scraps of memory. We have a couple of home videos of us dancing. One was to Weird Al's "Fat"-- we stuffed pillows in our clothes and then ran into everything we could, including each other. Another one of the videos includes us rocking out in our sunglasses to "We Built This City On Rock and Roll." So much fun.

If someone were to ask me what my very favorite memory is, it would probably be a muddle of memories that fall into one category: playing games with the family. During holidays especially, we would stay up to the wee hours of the night playing board and card games. We had this old game called Stop Thief that we'd play all the time. And Rook. Rook is pretty much THE Pedersen game. I don't remember being taught how to play--we just grew up learning it until we were all masters. Rook wasn't just something we played at home--whenever extended family was around, we'd play it because every one of them were masters as well.

Even though we're all older now, we continue to play games. When the kids come home from college, when we eat Sunday dinner at Grandma's house, or when the aunts come out to visit, we spend hours playing six-handed Rook and every other card game that can be played with Rook cards. It's my favorite thing to do with my family because when we're playing, we're laughing an spending time together doing something we all love. Whoever I marry is going to have to be a game-lover because he just won't fit in if he isn't. And I plan on raising some little Rook-players of my own.

I'm not really sure where I'm going with this. I guess it's just fun to reminisce. I don't know how entertaining it was for my readers... *Shrug*

Feelings I Hate

2007-07-04T21:53:00.000-07:00

In no particular order.

1. Feeling like I have to entertain someone. Why the heck are you just sitting on my couch looking bored? I don't know what to do with you!!!
2. That incredible awkwardness when there is a conflict and both parties have to have the last word. Just give it up! It's not worth it to sit there and cuss each other out. Get over it and get on with your life!
3. The stress of being in a hurry. And all accompanying feelings: irritability, fear of not making it, exhaustion from going going going, etc.
4. The lameness of referring to an inside joke that the other person doesn't remember, or telling a joke that no one gets. And then having to explain it all, watch the person think it through, and then know that when they laugh it is just out of politeness.
5. That greasy feeling that comes with the knowledge that you just ate a day's worth of calories in a single sitting. And then you just want to vomit. Or eat some carrots.
6. Vomiting. Maybe that's not a feeling, but the feeling I get just after vomiting is one of the worst I can think of. Glad I haven't done it in about seven years.
7. The sudden inability to carry on a conversation when with extended family. I don't know why this is so hard. My mind just goes blank and I just sit there and stare at everyone.

I'm not sure why I made this list. It's fun to think about I suppose.

Sometimes...

2007-07-01T17:31:00.001-07:00

...I know exactly why I'm friends with people.

Stephalumpagus: My dad is making me read this Dean Koontz book. I hope it's good.
Pound: Does it have a cool cover?
S: It's white with a blue hazy face. "FEAR NOTHING is the title, and the San Francisco Examiner says, "FEAR NOTHING WILL MAKE YOU FEAR ALMOST EVERYTHING."
P: It has a cool title and some neato headlines, so it will probably be the most amazing novel ever written.
S: I suppose.
P: The excitement probably runs deeper than previously charted by man.
S: Then why haven't you read it?
P: Because I'm a loser. And I can't read.
S. Oh yeah that's right.

Later...

Pound: Did I tell you I got a brand new car?
S: No! Do tell!
P: I just did. I got a new car.
S: I mean tell me about the car.
P: Oh.
P: Well it's a 2007 Nissan blah blah blah, black, manual.
S: Sounds sexy. Probably not as sexy as my grandma car though.
P: I used to have a grandma car too! It still smelled like old lady.
S: Mmm...mine doesn't...thank goodness.
P: Oh. That's too bad.
P: You could fix that. Just spill baby powder and old lady perfume under the seats.
S: I think I'll pass.
P: It's okay. It's not for everyone.

It's good to be home.

2007-06-30T14:14:00.000-07:00

Being back home is pretty nice. With no homework and no calling, I don't really have anything that I have to do. I can play piano or harp or Guitar Hero for as long as I want. I can blog, or watch TV, or read a book whenever I feel like it. At first it was boring--I like to keep myself busy--but now I'm getting acclimated to the relaxation. I don't mind having nothing to do. It's sort of nice. Plus soon I'll start working and then I'll be a lot busier.

I hung out with Puccini this morning. His mom opened a center for the performing arts, and I'm going to be working for her. We're starting a camp on Monday so Puccini and I went to the farmers market to hand out flyers. After a couple of hours we got bored so we went back to the center. Ozz and his daughter were there, who I haven't seen since my trip to Europe last summer, so that was fun. His wife works at the center, so I'll get to see a lot more of them. Ozz is hilarious.

Anyway, Puccini and I sat at the piano and played around for a while. It was just like old times--me stumbling through some pieces I've never seen before while he sings in that fabulous voice of his. It was great. He picked out a bunch of songs he wants me to play for him this summer and I went home very excited. I've really missed working with Puccini. He's very gifted--a real musician that loves music as much as I do--and when I work with him I always feel like I'm part of something amazing.

An dear old friend (we'll call him Pound--and no, it's not because he's fat or violent or anything--it's just a complicated story; perhaps I'll tell it another day) from my first year of Sylvan Singers IM-ed me today. He just asked what I was up to for the summer and then we chatted for a bit. We started talking about movies and I suggested we go see one tonight. He wasn't sure if he could or not, but he's supposed to let me know in the next hour or so. I was going to invite Cuorderoy as well, so it was convenient when she sent me a text asking if I wanted to go see a movie with her. Either "Live Free or Die Hard" or "Ocean's 13." I'm excited.

I think I'll go play piano.

I don't even know.

2007-06-29T23:27:00.000-07:00

So I was going to post about this really elusive spider that I've nearly killed twice, or perhaps about the Baja Fresh that is now churning in my stomach (please please please digest in a healthy fashion!!!). Perhaps I would have explored my sudden inability to eat ice cream and tried to explain why it's all over my shirt. I even might have talked about the hilarious people at work or how a lot of the girls here bombard my eyes with their massive cleavage, constantly reminding me that I have none.

But suddenly I'm just annoyed. I have this friend in Provo who I just finished talking with. This is the second time I've chatted online with him this week, and this is the second time he has really frosted my cookies. It wasn't even like it was a big deal--both times he just said something that made me think "What the hell?"--and then the conversation moved on, but for some reason it just ticked me off. And it frustrates me even more because I normally expect better of him.

And a post on cleavage would have been so much more entertaining.

A not-busy Stephalumpagus

2007-06-28T18:29:00.000-07:00

I wasted an incredible amount of time yesterday. I was finally ready for the day at noon, when Popsicle came over. She and I had a lovely chat in which I explained my involvement in the Moho/Queerosphere and the Moho world in general. This conversation was long overdue, and the only reason I hadn't blurted everything to her a year and a half ago was because the Native specifically asked me not to. But times have changed and I was finally able to be a good friend and let her know what was going on in my life. Despite all that she's gone through, I still feel like she is really young. Perhaps that's just the way she is--she is very mature in some ways, but I think she will always cling to little childish things...It's hard to explain so I won't. Plus it's really not pertinent--I was just thinking.

Anyway. We went to Target, as usual. That seems to be my favorite place to play. I needed contact solution and ended up buying a DVD in the mean time. Then, after an unsuccessful attempt at kidnapping Muffin (she wasn't home), we returned to my house to watch The Office. We watched maybe three episodes and she went home. I continued to watch, ate dinner, and then received a phone call from Muffin. She and I ended up walking around the new stores that are over by the Nut Tree. Vacaville is becoming a kickin' little city if I don't say so! We've got all sorts of stuff. Anyway, that was great fun and we both bought some books. Not knowing what to do, we went back to my house and watched--you guessed it--The Office.

She had to go home early because she had a doctor's appointment in the morning, but that was okay. I got ready for bed and then went online. Boy and I talked on the phone for quite some time, and then hung up due to his sleepiness. I laughed when he called back apologizing for cutting me off (which he had not done). We inevitably ended up talking some more, and then I finally went to sleep.

Then there was today. I didn't bother straightening my hair or even picking an outfit. I just wore some gym shorts and a T-shirt and put my hair up. It was car-cleaning day. I hadn't realized how long it's been. It took me a long time to vacuum the interior, but it looked so good after I did. Then I washed bugs from various states off and parked it, sparkling, under the sun. I hope I got a good tan.

I finished season 1 of The Office (no I'm not obsessed, I just want to catch up). Then I played Guitar Hero for an hour. I got annoyed and now I'm sitting here typing. Harry Potter is watching Spongebob. I think I'll sit and sort of watch while posting on my other blog.

Hope all is well with everyone. Sorry I've been so lame and haven't really been reading your blogs much. I do love you!

This morning as I was getting ready

2007-06-26T17:16:00.000-07:00

I was thoroughly amused by a conversation I overheard in the next room. Keep in mind that Mother is 48 years old. She is one of the most mature people I know. She is organized, sophisticated, and usually has a work-first-play-later attitude. Handsome is 16. He usually puts off doing anything productive.

Mother: Ooo I have time to practice one song on Guitar Hero before I go to the store! [enters game room and begins playing]
Handsome: I need you to move your car so I can run some errands.
Mother: Hold on just a minute. I'm almost done.
Handsome: [sighs] All right.

[Five minutes later]

Handsome: I really need you to move your car so I can go!
Mother: Come on, I just want to finish this.
Handsome: Okay, but be quick!

[Another couple of minutes]

Handsome: Mom! I need you to move your car! Right now!
Mother: Okay okay I just finished.

I'm not going to lie: I'm addicted too.

My dad asked me to help out at work today

2007-06-25T11:27:00.000-07:00

I have no idea what I'm doing. I didn't know how to hold the suction thing and then I was just walking around awkwardly. Now I'm hiding in his office. I should just go home, but I've only been here for a half hour.

At least scrubs are hot, right?

This is going to be long (read: me gushing about California)

2007-06-24T12:51:00.000-07:00

After acing both of my classes, saying goodbye to everyone, and packing what I thought I'd need for the rest of the summer, I left. The drive was surprisingly not that bad. I spent some time on the phone with the Jet, PaperTowel, and the Native, but mostly with the Jet. I used a lot of texts chatting with Cuorderoy and Gogie, and I belted to Josh Groban, Kelly Clarkson, Fall-Out Boy, and All-American Rejects. I was also thoroughly entertained by the motorist who's motorcycle desperately wanted to make babies with MustacheBoy's car (I was caravaning with MB).

You can always tell when you're getting close to California. After barren Nevada, trees start to appear in small clumps, and the names of towns go from things like Pumpernickel Valley and Imlay (which sounds a lot like pig-latin) to cooler names like Mustang and Sparks. I could almost smell California.

Finally we crossed the border. I had forgotten how breath-taking the Sierras are. I mean, the Rockies are great--they really are--but they are just that: rocky. The Sierras are forest green, covered with towering redwoods. The mountain-lake grandeur was breathtaking and I thanked God for allowing me to be born in the best state (yes Texas, we're better than you).

We made pretty good time and pulled into Vacaville around 7:30. I was so happy. And I even remembered how to get to MustacheBoy's house. I made it to my house, which looked exactly the same as when I left, except that the front lawn was completely dead (my dad wants to replace it with some really cool grass that grows in Pebble Beach--yes, he's insane).

Everyone but Handsome was home, and I found Sharky, Mother, and Harry Potter upstairs playing Guitar Hero. Arnold was watching TV downstairs. The Guitar Heroes made me watch each of them play for quite some time, insisting that I must also learn. Apparently, all of them have wasted many hours on this game and are quite obsessed. It was thoroughly amusing. Just wait until I get sucked in. Ha.

After Sharky and Arnold moved from Provo to Fairfield a couple of weeks ago, they helped Mother clean out some stuff in the attic in preparation of a massive garage sale (which hasn't happened yet). So they had all these bags of beanie babies and stuffed animals. They got mine out and we went through them. It was incredibly exciting. All my old stuffed animals, even my teddy bear that we've had since I was a baby. There was my first beanie baby, a floppy dog, and my old funky zebra thing that stands up by itself. I sat on the couch and held them for a long time.

Dad came down and we all chatted for a while. He's starting to get old. For the most part, he's his normal random self, but every now and then he just looks tired. And he has these nerve accumulations on his feet which has been preventing him from golfing and doing anything too athletic. That's sad for him because he is such an athlete. But then he'll show me these random YouTube videos and he starts cracking up at the dumbest things. I've always thought I take after Mother, but the older I get, the more I think I'm like Dad. He's fine though. He's always exuded ox-like toughness, and this isn't any different.

The six of us--Dad, Mother, Arnold, Sharky, Me, and Harry Potter--played three games of Joker. One of Sharky's friends invented this game, and it's really fun. We girls beat the boys all three times. It was amazing.

Mother finally found my cat, a tabby named Chester. I have never seen a cat with more personality. He is a really thin, petite cat, but he has a cute face and mega soft fur. He fights other animals all the time and is always getting into mischief. I hear the dog across the street is afraid of him. And he sleeps in the most random places. Just seeing him made me start laughing, and he played his usual role of being annoyed with human contact, as though we're just his slaves and he doesn't want any snuggling out of us--just food. Oh how I've missed him.

Handsome finally came home and we talked. He was all excited to brag about how he's a senior in high school and how he ordered a new laptop ("It's way better than yours!" followed by showing me a picture of it--It's almost exactly the same as mine). He insists he doesn't have a girlfriend, but I don't think he'd have any trouble getting one. Plus he drives a Mustang convertible. Which I'm going to steal this summer. If I can get away with it. Heh.

[Sidenote: Harry Potter is watching Spongebob.
Male Spatula: I'm not your friend!!! runs away
Spongebob, naked, running after the spatula: But I gave up everything for you!!! I thought we had something special!!!!

Umm this show just gets weirder every time.]

I called a few people in an effort to get one of them to go to Singles Ward with me. Two of them would have gone, but both were going out for the day. Popsicle refused. I was going to just go by myself, but Mother convinced me to just go to the good ol' Fourth Ward.

After a fabulous night's sleep and declaring myself gorgeous, we went to church. Gladys was the first person I talked to.

I think everyone must have a crazy lady from their childhood. Gladys is mine. Dad has been her home-teacher since the beginning of time. She has told Bishop that she would leave the church if he reassigned her to someone else. She usually comes to our house for Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners, and she always keeps up on all of our lives. She gave me $25 for graduating from high school, along with a card that was so cute it almost made me cry. She made a point of getting to know Arnold when he married Sharky, and she doesn't know what to do if Dad doesn't sit with her in Sunday School. I'm also pretty sure that she put our family in her will.

That's the nice side of Gladys. She really is a good woman and she loves our family a lot, but she is crazy. She wears a ton of makeup, her eyebrows plastered with liner and her heavily-shadowed eyes stare out from behind huge gold glasses. Very round and bulky in girth, she's been using a walker for many years. She wears black slippers to church, and if you sit near enough, you might hear her muttering things during prayers. During Sunday School she often says random things. And she is the biggest gossip you will ever meet. It's absolutely hilarious.

I sat with her in Relief Society. The women were talking about what it feels like physically when you feel the Spirit--some get the whole "burning of the bosom" deal, while others said they felt tingly. Gladys leans in and says, "I just get indigestion." I almost started cracking up during the middle of the lesson. It was great to see Gladys again.

Back to Sacrament meeting. Harry Potter and I shouldn't sit by each other anymore. We just laugh at random stuff and tickle each other. And he always forgets to whisper so he just starts talking. We were shushed many time by Mother. He clumsily dropped his hymnbook in the middle of a hymn and Mother and I started giggling. We also lost it when a little girl behind us started singing "Old MacDonald had a farm" during the last speaker. Then in Sunday School I whispered with Sister Jacobsen and Sister Mattson and laughed at Gladys' comments. Oh how I love my family ward.

In all seriousness though, going from a BYU ward to my family's ward was a welcome change. There were missionaries, black people, and investigators, and it was in a real stake center rather than a campus building. And the spirit there was so much stronger. I don't know why that is--it could just be that I haven't been doing a good job of putting effort into feeling the Spirit at church--but I think it might have been the people. See, at BYU we are constantly surrounded by churchy things that going to church is just part of a regular routine. Here, church is something special. It's the one day of the week that is different than all the others. It's the one day that they set aside to worship. It's the one day of the week that they are surrounded by other members. There is an incredible Spirit about them. Not that BYU students don't have it, I think it's just dull--we aren't surrounded by as much adversity, and it shows. Anyway I'm rambling now and I think you get my point. It's just nice to be back.

So now I'm sitting here, texting Gogie again, and watching Spongebob. I love being here. I don't know how long that will last, but for now, I have zero regrets about leaving Provo. I'm sure by the time the weekend rolls around I'm going to be missing all of you because I'll be bored. But I'm actually really looking forward to the rest of the summer and I'm glad I came home.

Did I mention I love California?

Excerpts

2007-06-21T18:31:00.000-07:00

I was going through my file box and I came across some cards and letters from the past two semesters. Also I found a few pages of free-write nonsense I did during my Book of Mormon class fall semester. Here are some fragments:

10/26/06
I am cold. I think I may be cold forever. It's distracting and annoying. And I swear we already had this lecture...

I'm confused by O-Chem. All the compounds look exactly the same.

I couldn't find any shoes yesterday when I went shopping. I couldn't find a winter coat. I'm freezing. I fear my musical talent is deteriorating because I haven't touched a piano in weeks...

I want sleep. Warm covers. PJ's. Hazelnut hot chocolate.

I can't wait for this class to end.

11/2/06

It smells funny in here. The kid behind me just said he hates this class. I'm not alone.

In a fairly good mood today. The stress of five quickly-approaching exams hasn't caught up with me yet. I have a bad feeling about this BOM exam though. Why can't I win?

Hmm...CuteGuy did his hair nicely today. He wears that red jacket every time though. I wonder about that...

I have a new friend: AtP. He loves awkward moments and he laughs REALLY loud at EVERYTHING. It's so entertaining. We're basically "BFF's...for E...and E...and E..." Ha.

11/7/06

Note to self: Hymn #220 has a lovely alto part.

Hmm...I wonder if FrequentTalker knows his shirt is inside-out.

O-Chem test after this. I can't begin to describe how ecstatic I am. :/

[later that class period]

This class is awful. I'm actually looking forward to that O-Chem test. ANYTHING to get me out of here.

And I'm cold as usual.

One of those posts where I just ramble about what I did yesterday/today because I feel like typing it, but nothing incredibly exciting

2007-06-21T09:54:00.000-07:00

After acing my Music 202 final yesterday, I floated down the mighty Provo with AtP. We had a lot of fun, although it was a long float. Still worth the $10, and I would do it again sometime in the not-so-near future. I don't understand how I didn't get any more tan than I already was. Lame.

Then the Jerman made dinner for me and some people. It was tasty although he didn't think it turned out quite right. We all had fun taking crazy pictures on the couch and watching cartoons.

When I got home, near midnight, I cleaned the entire fridge. Hardcore cleaning too. It looks fabulous. But I ran out of paper towels, so Gogie and I went to Smith's. I ended up going up to his apartment (uh not like that) and I stayed for a while until my roommate called and asked what had happened to me. So I returned home and we finished cleaning the apartment around 3 am. Needless to say, it looks fabulous, and we passed with flying colors.

I just finished burning a bunch of CD's for my trip home. I'm leaving on Saturday for sure. And I'm sort of sad about it. I'm going to miss everyone!!! *Sigh.* I wish I could take you all out to California with me. Seriously though, if you happen to be in San Francisco/Sacramento area (I know they aren't the same, but I live between them) please please please email me and we'll kick it hardcore.

I suppose I should go shower and get ready for the day. And maybe study for that final I have later. Maybe.

This is me

2007-06-19T17:01:00.000-07:00

I cleaned and reorganized my room yesterday. I love seeing those movies and books lined up in alphabetical order, so accessible and tidy. I also love the lime coconut verbena scent of my wallflower from Bath and Bodyworks that is endowing my room with its lovely aroma.

I got a lot done today. Picked up AtP's birthday present, which I sort of wanted to keep for myself. Lunched with the Jerman, studied, Facebooked, grocery-ed, and visited with the Native. I hadn't talked to the Native in almost a week (I think that's a record for us) so it was quite lovely to catch up on our mundane but sometimes dramatic lives. I think he'll always be the love of my life--just not in the romantic way.

Watched three or four episodes of Desperate Housewives last night. That show is pure trash but it totally sucks you in and you just want to know what happens next to these people with horribly fake and screwed up lives. And there's quite a bit of eye candy for both sexes. *shrug*

The visiting teachers are coming in a few minutes. It's nice that they come, but I'm sort of just not in the mood. Hmm...

Tried to declare my major. Couldn't figure out how so I just ended up emailing BYU records and asked them to do it for me. I hope that works out. I plan on going to the HFAC tomorrow to figure out how to be a music minor. And I've decided to be responsible and not take German in the fall. It's about time I was serious about growing up.

As much as I'm excited about going to California, I'm going to miss Provo a little. Mostly I'm going to miss the people, but I think I might miss the grid-system, the ease at which I can get away from everything, and the whole not-living-with-my-parents thing. But it should be fun. My brother, Handsome, just informed me he signed up for Calculus and is expecting help on the summer assignment. I'm delighted. (That wasn't sarcastic).

There's a slight irritation on my arm. I have no idea where it came from but I've been cortaid-ing and aloe vera-ing like crazy. I hope it goes away.

Finished The Bell Jar. I thought I was going insane. Fabulous book. In fact, I bought myself a copy today. Hopefully I'll get around to reading some of Sylvia Plath's short stories and poetry this summer.

Not excited to pack.

Not excited to drive for 10+ hours.

Perhaps I should leave on Sunday? MustacheBoy, you decide. If you need more time to pack, don't hesitate to tell me. I'd love to have a free day Saturday. No later than Sunday though.

This blog is really long and fragmented. I sort of like doing that.

I hope the Native finds his wallet. We tried to go to Chuck E. Cheese but he couldn't find his wallet.

PreviousHomeTeacher/Roommate'sBrother asked if the Native was "a boyfriend." Ha. Why does everyone think that?

Mmm Hungarian food tomorrow.

I'm not a huge fan of Dada artists. Cubism is pretty cool though.

The phone is ringing. I'm going to go study.

Chocolate-covered strawberries

2007-06-15T23:19:00.000-07:00

Love sucks.

*Sigh*

Marriage had better be worth it.

No wonder I love Seinfeld so much.

2007-06-15T17:48:00.000-07:00

I'm Elaine. Not a perfect fit, but pretty close.

~Jerry: "And we discover yet another talent--posing as a girlfriend for homosexuals."

~Elaine: "You know, I don't have a single female friend left."
Kramer: "Of course you don't. You're a man's woman. You hate other women and they hate you."

Hmm...

2007-06-14T22:42:00.000-07:00

This girl named Strawberry has been trying to hang out with me for a long time. I actually wouldn't mind hanging out with her, but she always calls so last minute and so it hasn't really worked out.

She called me on my birthday and asked if I wanted to go see a violin concert with her. She didn't seem to know it was my birthday, even though she added me to her top friends on Facebook. I told her I already had plans (I didn't mention the birthday thing because I didn't want her to be sad that I didn't invite her). She said something about how maybe I just don't want to hang out with her. The little voice in my head said something like, What the hell? Girl, please. My actual voice told her that was nonsense and that she shouldn't call so last minute. I was perfectly charming of course and asked her what she was doing the next Friday (which happens to be tomorrow). She checked her schedule and said she was off work at 6:00 pm. I promised we'd hang out then, and a Stephalumpagus never forgets.

Fast-forward to this evening's text message exchange:

Strawberry: What's going on tomorrow?
Stephalumpagus: There's a movie playing on campus at 9:30 pm. Some other people might come too. If you want, we can make dinner before that. Come over around 7:30 pm.
Strawberry: K I really want to come but it depends on whether or not I have a car. I'm trying to get it fixed and my dad can't fix it until he gets off work at 6:00 pm.
Stephalumpagus: Ok, well let me know.
Strawberry: K.

I was tempted to send her a text saying, "Well maybe you just don't want to hang out with me," but I thought that would be bratty. Also I'm sort of wondering why she asked me what was going on when she was the one that was changing up the plans.

Also, (and this applies to all texters, not just Strawberry), why was the last text message necessary? I mean, I told her to let me know, and it's assumed that as long as she's human she would let me know. So why make me open my phone to see a text that is only one letter? Isn't that just a waste of my messages? And of her life? And of my life? I've always wondered about those texts. Why do people bother?

Ok I'm being way too cynical. I'm actually in a fabulous mood. We'll see if Strawberry ends up hanging out with me. If she doesn't though, I'm going home next week so I suppose it's comforting to know this won't happen again at least until September.

Ten minutes

2007-06-14T14:50:00.000-07:00

until Psychology starts. I didn't do the reading. The plan was to skim through them online just before class started. Problem: This was the only supplementary reading assignment where we actually had to go to the library and look up some pages in some books. I didn't realize this until just now. Good thing I have 21.5 extra credit points in this class. It looks like I'll be needing them.

Got another A on another Music 202 midterm. Things are looking up.

The Native took me on a date to Tucanos last night. Soooooooooooooo good! Also soooooooooooo expensive, but lucky for me the Native insisted on paying. Then we watched a scary movie. I'm afraid the Native would make a terrible boyfriend--he jumped more in the movie than I did, and he made no attempts to help out when I was scared. I'm not complaining though because it was a really nice date and he smelled good. Plus I'm not dating him.

I then stayed up late watching Family Guy with Gogie. Based on Gogie's performance last night (does that sound dirty? I hope so), I would say the Masseuse now has some competition in the department of massages/playing with hair. Lucky for me I can now exploit both of them mercilessly. Bwa ha ha. Jk. I give them massages too. I'm so nice.

I then fell asleep reading The Bell Jar. *sigh*. I think I'm going to go buy that book so I can return AtP's copy rather than steal it.

Speaking of AtP, he gave me a copy of How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk for my birthday. That should be an exciting read. Maybe I'll give him a copy of Sex for Dummies for his birthday.

Alas, class is about to start. The last class before the final. Thank goodness.