I don't want to admit it, but...

I'm sitting in the ESC on campus. I hadn't realized what a lovely study place it is. A bit noisier than "the bubble" in the Benson building, but the rainforesty/scientific/cozy atmosphere is much more open and friendly than the rigid/chemical/plainness of the bubble.

I could be studying. I could be reading. I could be doing something productive. Alas I am playing on the internet.

I'm a little bit sad. Not in a bad mood--I'm fairly content actually--but part of me is sad. I hate to admit it but I am slightly (only slightly, I repeat) homesick. Three months into the semester, when I'm closer to going home than ever.

It's odd--I don't miss my family a whole lot. I do miss them, and I do laugh when I wonder what crazy schemes Matt is plotting, or when I think of Ethan pretending to hate his piano lessons. I chatted with my mother the other day for a while, and that was fun. But I've always been so independent that I didn't have that hard of a time leaving them. And they will always be there for me to return to.

It snowed a teeny bit yesterday, not even enough to really stick, but it made me miss California. Growing up, we always hoped for snow that never came. Now I am hoping against it when it's sure to come.

I think most of this sadness is due to missing friends. I have met so many wonderful people here, and I'm grateful for that, but sometimes I reflect on my summer and wish I could go back. My family will always be around, and Vacaville will always have mild weather, but my friends have scattered and are living their own lives--lives that I minimally participate in. It makes me so sad that I'm not there to comfort them when they need it or to rejoice with them when they succeed. I love them so much!

I suppose this is normal and that eventually I will move on. But there will always be a special place in my heart for the years I spent in that sunny little town of Vacaville.

To steal from AtP-- le sigh.