I sit at a random table with this guy. I acknowledge his presence with a nod.

I begin eating, and he begins talking.

First it's the usual--How's it going? How's your lunch? Where are you from? I have family near there, do you know them? What are you studying? What year are you? Where do you live? Then there was discussion about BYU atmosphere in general, I voiced my dislike for freshman girls (even if I am one). We talked of the general lack of 20-year-old guys, the lack of gangsta black people, and other oddities of BYU.

He takes out his phone (a pink Razr, mind you) supposedly taking a call. Sounds like his cousin is considering proposing to some girl, there is various talk of girls, hooking up, etc. I pretend like I'm not listening. He hangs up and asks me if I like his pink phone. I tell him it's amazing. He suddenly receives another call--this time the whole conversation is carried out in some Asian language. Though I couldn't identify the language, it sounded badly pronounced.

The thought occurred to me that this guy was trying to sound impressive. For all I know, both phone calls could have been faked. That language could have even been faked. I mean, I do look hot today. I feigned disinterest by looking over my chemistry notes. Soon after his phone call he picked up his stuff, said it was nice talking to me, and goodbye.

All the while, some REALLY LAME "comedy" act is going on in the Terrace. Highly obnoxious and not funny at all.

Oh dear. Only at BYU.