The way things are

Life is a really hard game. The pieces keep falling out of those teeny little cars!

Sunday, May 13, 2007


I understand the term "SSG" is known throughout the Queerosphere, thanks to our ever-trend-setting AtP. So, as I procrastinate studying, I'd like to talk about some of the SSG's in my life.

PaperTowel, my "man-crush," emailed me today. Of course it was very short, and not very eloquent. Still, it was nice to hear he will be coming back to Utah for a little while, and that perhaps I will see him before I go home for the summer. It also made me laugh--he is one of those people that will never let you win the argument, which makes for oh so entertaining conversation. If only he would get online for once in his life. If only he would fall madly in love with me...*sigh*...

I chatted with The Masseuse last night, and again today. I have yet to understand this boy. He is definitely straight, but he's not a typical SSG (this was evident in the fact that AtP thought he was gay the first time they met--don't tell him that though--I don't think he would be very happy). AtP, now knowing that The Masseuse is in fact straight, suggested that he (The Masseuse--darn pronoun/antecedent ambiguities) and I should date. I honestly have no objections to that. Other than the fact that every time I try to get The Masseuse to hang out he "can't" or is "too tired" or has to "study." I've learned that it's nothing personal--he just isn't as socially dependent as I am--but still. I would love to go out with him. I would love to just hang out with him. He doesn't seem to get it.

Maestro just works too much. When I see him at weekly rehearsal we have a great time. And I know that if he weren't working he would hang out with me. No romantic interest there, but he is a great friend. I just wish he didn't work so much...

And the other day I got Gogie to admit he loves massages, and we promised we'd exchange massages when he comes back to Utah. Haha.

Those are my main SSG's. I happen to love them all, despite their little straight quirks that irritate me to no end sometimes.

Sometimes I wish one of them would just ask me on a date though. I mean, even as friends. It's just nice to be asked on dates. And I love dates with my Mohos--I really do (and sorry again Gimple for flaking the other night!)--but sometimes I would like to think that I am attractive enough for a straight guy to ask me out. And yet. I swear, I'm really obvious sometimes, and they still don't get it. Either that, or I'm just not as attractive as I thought. That can't be right. Why do they not get it?!?!?! Why must I always be the one to ask guys out?!?!?! *Growls*

Today I left church very quickly so as not to be late to Grandma's house, and thus ended up walking home alone, leaving the socializing girls behind. Coincidentally, a charming blond fellow was also walking home alone, and he proceeded to make small talk. I had just been thinking about how I wish guys were more active about meeting new people (like me), and so, although this guy wasn't in my ward, I was grateful that someone was taking the time to befriend me, if only for a few minutes. And he was kind of cute. We just chatted about school and hometowns and the typical BYU conversation-starters, and then we said goodbye, possibly to never see each other again. It was fabulous. I didn't feel like I was exuding I'm-not-as-attractive-as-all-the-other-girls fumes. Maybe he thought I was cute. Then again, maybe he was just being nice because I was a loser walking home alone. Still, it was lovely, and I felt normal.

I feel like this post is lacking closure, but I don't really have anything else to say.

In the words of Strongbad, "It's over!!!!!!!"


Blogger Brady said...

I must confess, it feels awkward commenting on a post dedicated to straight guys. Anyway, I don't know if I can offer much by way of advice, but I can say that you shouldn't doubt your incredible attractiveness. It's not all about looks either. While most SSG's focus too much on that aspect, the good ones know to look further, and they will see the friendly, entertaining, fun, and smart Stephalumpagus we all know and love!

I wish you the best of luck in your SSG adventures. Don't forget us MoHo's either though. No forgivness for flaking out on Gimple....

11:00 AM  
Blogger The Jet said...

It's pretty hard to look past all of that fat though. But you have a sweet spirit.

;) I can't let The Jerman have all the fun.

4:21 PM  

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