Conversation

...
Stephalumpagus: There's no air conditioning?
Friend that is a straight male: Inside, yes. Outside, no.
S: Why not?
FTIASM: I'm not sure.
FTIASM: I'll ask God about it.
S: He'll probably tell you that's what wind is for.
FTIASM: Or he'll probably say, "That's a stupid question."
S: You're right. You probably shouldn't ask. He might smite you.
FTIASM: I might get smitten.
S: And not in the romantic way.
FTIASM: Yeah...
S: I think I'd prefer the romantic way.
S: Have you ever been smitten (in the romantic way)?
FTIASM: I don't think so.
S: Really? Smitten=crush.
FTIASM: No no. Smitten means madly in love.
S: Oh. I suppose.
FTIASM: Have you ever been smitten?
S: Hmm...maybe once.
FTIASM: Really?
S [simplifying a really long story]: Yeah, but he turned out to be gay.
FTIASM: Wow. That really sucks.
S: Yeah I don't think I'd recommend it.
FTIASM: I'll keep that in mind.
FTIASM: Who was it?
S: I can't tell you!
FTIASM: Why not? I don't know him.
S: Yeah, but you might meet him. And he doesn't want me telling everyone I know.
FTIASM: Being gay isn't something to be ashamed about.
[Score ten points for Friend!]
S: I know that, and he knows that, but he still isn't comfortable with random people knowing.
FTIASM: Yeah that's true.
S: Have you ever been smitten?
FTIASM: I don't think so.
S: Not even with China?
FTIASM: I don't know...
S: Yeah, it's hard to know.
FTIASM: Yeah...
S: This couch is so uncomfortable.
FTIASM: You should burn it.
S: Not a bad idea actually.