Decision

I woke up this morning with the same feeling I had last night--an aching in my stomach that has nothing to do with what I ate. I showered and threw on some clothes, not bothering to do my hair, and started reading. It didn't take me long to discover that the more I read, the more I was able to ignore my stomach. So I kept reading.

It wasn't until 3:00 pm that I decided I needed to do something else. I was avoiding getting online because I knew I would have to think about everything again and decided if I was going to email him. Bracing myself, I got online, checked my Facebook, and finally checked my email.

There was an email from LDSLiving or something that informed me of the death of James E. Faust. And for a moment I was wrenched back into the real world, remembering that life isn't merely confined to this house and my thoughts. I felt sad about it, but I knew it was just his time to go. The death of a general authority isn't something I think of as random--I figured God just had some other things in mind for President Faust.

These thoughts were comforting and strengthening to me for some reason, and after reading an email from Fat Walrus (which I think is a much better blog name than Jenn-Jenn-A-Rooski), I made my decision. If I didn't email him, I would always wonder if I should have, and it would drive me crazy forever.

So I did it. It felt surprisingly good to have made a decision, and I pressed the send button with confidence. I guess I'm a little nervous about the answer--if one comes at all--but at least I can say I tried.

Now what? Ha. I'm typing this blog and wondering if I should go back to reading. After beating Guitar Hero, there's nothing to do around here...