The way things are

Life is a really hard game. The pieces keep falling out of those teeny little cars!

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Feeling nostalgic--pardon me if it sounds cheesy

Sometimes I wonder why life just clicks. It's like everything is laid out--I can see how past events have caused my life to go a certain direction, how present events will effect the future. It's not always good, and it's not always fun, but it just is. And sometimes I imagine I can just see it all.

I also wonder why I'm thinking this now, as I just got home from a party. The party was a group of old Sylvan Singers, most of them before my time. I'm not quite sure how I came to know some of those people... Most of them I just met at some concert they happened to be at and we just clicked.

Anywho, with me being the youngest and having graduated two to three years later than these people, I was sort of the odd one out. It wasn't a big deal; in fact, I had anticipated it. For the most part I fit in, but every now and then there was a song I didn't know, or an awkward transitional moment where I suddenly found myself alone. I had fun though.

It was good to see old faces, old friends. I rode with the ever-delightful ParallelStephalumpagus and good ol' CheeseFace. They are fun to talk to and PS is a very good source of information/juicy gossip. The party was at Matt's house out in the country (with no reception), and he's a very sweet fun guy. Andrea remembered me and was very friendly, and Emily and Molly came too. My old crush, Pound, was there. At first we didn't really talk much and we sort of avoided eye contact. I don't know why...I think it was just one of those things about not talking for a while... Later I asked him how school was and after that conversation flowed just grandly. I had forgotten how easy he is to talk to--we never ran out of conversation.

Around ten I was pretty ready to go. We had eaten, done a gift exchange, and played two rounds of Apples to Apples. I didn't want to make PS leave, but she could tell that CheeseFace and I were ready. It was a good thing too because other people started to leave too. So we said our goodbyes and our promises to Facebook, yada yada yada, we finally left. And luckily Jacob called me right as my phone got reception to say goodnight.

And now I'm home, feeling kind of nostalgic, kind of sad. It was really good to see everyone but I think it just made me see that my life is in Provo now. Vacaville is more of a place to visit than an actual home. I love it to death, and I hate to say this but...I kind of miss being in Provo. I miss my normal life--Jacob, Peas, school, friends, grandparents. It was a nice break, but I'm ready to sleep in my own bed, in my apartment, with no parents, and resume life as it is.

When I was in third grade, I remember thinking about sixth grade and being really sad because I didn't want to leave elementary school and all of my teachers behind. I didn't want things to change because I liked them the way they were. When I graduated high school I was excited for school but I missed my high school friends.

But change really isn't so bad. It's just the way things are, right? Things change, and sometimes we're afraid to change something that's already the way we like it, but we have to just know that things get better. There's always more to life. More to look forward to.

And then we can come back to places like Vacaville and visit and remember the way things used to be, remember good times, and be grateful that there are more to come.

2 Comments:

Blogger Klobas said...

See. You're crazy.

1:06 PM  
Blogger Potentate said...

Oh Steph, I miss you. Let's hang out when I get back, okay? Maybe I'll get one of my girlfriends and we can double date. ;)

Also, e-mail me!

8:46 AM  

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