Feeling nostalgic--pardon me if it sounds cheesy

Sometimes I wonder why life just clicks. It's like everything is laid out--I can see how past events have caused my life to go a certain direction, how present events will effect the future. It's not always good, and it's not always fun, but it just is. And sometimes I imagine I can just see it all.

I also wonder why I'm thinking this now, as I just got home from a party. The party was a group of old Sylvan Singers, most of them before my time. I'm not quite sure how I came to know some of those people... Most of them I just met at some concert they happened to be at and we just clicked.

Anywho, with me being the youngest and having graduated two to three years later than these people, I was sort of the odd one out. It wasn't a big deal; in fact, I had anticipated it. For the most part I fit in, but every now and then there was a song I didn't know, or an awkward transitional moment where I suddenly found myself alone. I had fun though.

It was good to see old faces, old friends. I rode with the ever-delightful ParallelStephalumpagus and good ol' CheeseFace. They are fun to talk to and PS is a very good source of information/juicy gossip. The party was at Matt's house out in the country (with no reception), and he's a very sweet fun guy. Andrea remembered me and was very friendly, and Emily and Molly came too. My old crush, Pound, was there. At first we didn't really talk much and we sort of avoided eye contact. I don't know why...I think it was just one of those things about not talking for a while... Later I asked him how school was and after that conversation flowed just grandly. I had forgotten how easy he is to talk to--we never ran out of conversation.

Around ten I was pretty ready to go. We had eaten, done a gift exchange, and played two rounds of Apples to Apples. I didn't want to make PS leave, but she could tell that CheeseFace and I were ready. It was a good thing too because other people started to leave too. So we said our goodbyes and our promises to Facebook, yada yada yada, we finally left. And luckily Jacob called me right as my phone got reception to say goodnight.

And now I'm home, feeling kind of nostalgic, kind of sad. It was really good to see everyone but I think it just made me see that my life is in Provo now. Vacaville is more of a place to visit than an actual home. I love it to death, and I hate to say this but...I kind of miss being in Provo. I miss my normal life--Jacob, Peas, school, friends, grandparents. It was a nice break, but I'm ready to sleep in my own bed, in my apartment, with no parents, and resume life as it is.

When I was in third grade, I remember thinking about sixth grade and being really sad because I didn't want to leave elementary school and all of my teachers behind. I didn't want things to change because I liked them the way they were. When I graduated high school I was excited for school but I missed my high school friends.

But change really isn't so bad. It's just the way things are, right? Things change, and sometimes we're afraid to change something that's already the way we like it, but we have to just know that things get better. There's always more to life. More to look forward to.

And then we can come back to places like Vacaville and visit and remember the way things used to be, remember good times, and be grateful that there are more to come.

I'm so lame

I don't know why I waited to post when I was in a crappy mood instead of posting good things like my amazing finals week. I just went and read some of Jacob's posts and he's always so happy. I'm so lame.

So here's the good stuff.

Last week I took three finals on Monday and two on Tuesday, then I was done. It was amazing, even though I got a C in one of my classes. I don't even care and it's not worth beating myself up about.

Tuesday was probably one of the best days ever. I went over to Jacob's house and we exchanged Christmas presents. He is the BEST. He got me a really great new backpack (which I totally needed), two of my favorite children's books, plus another one by the same author, these really cool Nightmare Before Christmas gloves that I've had my eye on for a while, and some Nightmare Before Christmas socks. On top of all that, he wrote me a really heartfelt letter that actually made me cry. It was amazing.

We spent the day studying and watching family guy, and after I finished my finals he took me out to eat. Then we watched Big Fish, which is such a good movie.

Wednesday I made two kinds of cookies while Jacob studied, and later I went shopping with some girls from the ward. I wasn't really in the mood to go shopping, but it was okay. Afterwards I went to Jacob's house and spent some time with him. He's so sweet.

Thursday was the day I left. Jacob and I went to Zupas, then to Wells Fargo to try and open a checking account for me. After that we went back to my place and I finished my packing and my cleaning check. I was really sad to say goodbye to him when he left for work.

After a crazy storm and a bit of a delayed flight, I finally made it to California (thanks again Guillermo for driving me! I hope the move went well for you and Natasha). Charlene was waiting for me an we had a fun drive home.

Yesterday wasn't super fun, but I did pick out some new glasses and I got my hair done.

And now I'm sitting here. I think I'm going to go eat some lunch and then wrap presents.

I'm a little bit sad today. For various reasons and for no reason at all. I'm bored. I miss Jacob. Jacob went and saw a movie last night that I had hoped to go see with him. Sunshine is back and I haven't seen her. My mom made cookies this morning without me. My friends all have jobs. I always feel like a twelve-year-old when I'm here. I'm cold. I'm bored. I miss Jacob.

I'm complaining and repeating myself.

Le sigh. It's really no big deal; this invariably happens at least once when I'm home. It's just lame. I feel like a little kid sometimes when I'm here. You know, always asking what's going on, having to use someone else's car, living on someone else's schedule instead of my own, etc.

And why am I cold? It's 69 degrees in this house. I'm in California--it's supposed to be warm! And it really isn't that cold outside, but for some reason (*cough* my dad is insane *cough*) it's freezing INSIDE my house.

Okay sorry I'm complaining. I really am happy to be here. I'm just feeling lame and I felt like getting it out of my system.

"He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it."

"Men and women who turn their lives over to God will discover that He can make a lot more out of their live than they can. He will deepen their joys, expand their vision, quicken their minds, strengthen their muscles, lift their spirits, multiply their blessings, increase their opportunities, comfort their souls, raise up friends, and pour out peace. Whoever will lose his life in the service of God will find eternal life."

--President Ezra Taft Benson
(Matthew 10:39)

Hand bells!

Hey friends, I just wanted to let you all know that the Utah Valley Hand Bell Choir (of which I am a member) is playing at the Cathedral of the Madeleine in Salt Lake tomorrow night. You should all come!!! This is a big concert venue and we have some awesome music this year. It would mean a lot to me if you all came.

Date: Tuesday, Dec. 7
Time: 8:00 pm
Location: Cathedral of the Madeleine
331 E South Temple, Salt Lake City
Admission: Free!

If you've never seen a hand bell choir before, you should DEFINITELY go. It's a real treat, especially around Christmas. We have five octaves of bells and chime, and some of our songs will add percussion, flute, choir, and organ. The concert should last about an hour to an hour and a half.

If you can't make it, I'll probably announce some of our other concerts (we'll be playing at both the Provo and Salt Lake libraries, and at the Springville Art Museum) or you can get more info at www.utahbells.com. Click on "Concerts" and the bolded concerts are those that are open to the public. Admission is always free.

I hope to see you there! Email me if you have any questions!