The way things are

Life is a really hard game. The pieces keep falling out of those teeny little cars!

Saturday, June 30, 2007

It's good to be home.

Being back home is pretty nice. With no homework and no calling, I don't really have anything that I have to do. I can play piano or harp or Guitar Hero for as long as I want. I can blog, or watch TV, or read a book whenever I feel like it. At first it was boring--I like to keep myself busy--but now I'm getting acclimated to the relaxation. I don't mind having nothing to do. It's sort of nice. Plus soon I'll start working and then I'll be a lot busier.

I hung out with Puccini this morning. His mom opened a center for the performing arts, and I'm going to be working for her. We're starting a camp on Monday so Puccini and I went to the farmers market to hand out flyers. After a couple of hours we got bored so we went back to the center. Ozz and his daughter were there, who I haven't seen since my trip to Europe last summer, so that was fun. His wife works at the center, so I'll get to see a lot more of them. Ozz is hilarious.

Anyway, Puccini and I sat at the piano and played around for a while. It was just like old times--me stumbling through some pieces I've never seen before while he sings in that fabulous voice of his. It was great. He picked out a bunch of songs he wants me to play for him this summer and I went home very excited. I've really missed working with Puccini. He's very gifted--a real musician that loves music as much as I do--and when I work with him I always feel like I'm part of something amazing.

An dear old friend (we'll call him Pound--and no, it's not because he's fat or violent or anything--it's just a complicated story; perhaps I'll tell it another day) from my first year of Sylvan Singers IM-ed me today. He just asked what I was up to for the summer and then we chatted for a bit. We started talking about movies and I suggested we go see one tonight. He wasn't sure if he could or not, but he's supposed to let me know in the next hour or so. I was going to invite Cuorderoy as well, so it was convenient when she sent me a text asking if I wanted to go see a movie with her. Either "Live Free or Die Hard" or "Ocean's 13." I'm excited.

I think I'll go play piano.

Friday, June 29, 2007

I don't even know.

So I was going to post about this really elusive spider that I've nearly killed twice, or perhaps about the Baja Fresh that is now churning in my stomach (please please please digest in a healthy fashion!!!). Perhaps I would have explored my sudden inability to eat ice cream and tried to explain why it's all over my shirt. I even might have talked about the hilarious people at work or how a lot of the girls here bombard my eyes with their massive cleavage, constantly reminding me that I have none.

But suddenly I'm just annoyed. I have this friend in Provo who I just finished talking with. This is the second time I've chatted online with him this week, and this is the second time he has really frosted my cookies. It wasn't even like it was a big deal--both times he just said something that made me think "What the hell?"--and then the conversation moved on, but for some reason it just ticked me off. And it frustrates me even more because I normally expect better of him.

And a post on cleavage would have been so much more entertaining.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

A not-busy Stephalumpagus

I wasted an incredible amount of time yesterday. I was finally ready for the day at noon, when Popsicle came over. She and I had a lovely chat in which I explained my involvement in the Moho/Queerosphere and the Moho world in general. This conversation was long overdue, and the only reason I hadn't blurted everything to her a year and a half ago was because the Native specifically asked me not to. But times have changed and I was finally able to be a good friend and let her know what was going on in my life. Despite all that she's gone through, I still feel like she is really young. Perhaps that's just the way she is--she is very mature in some ways, but I think she will always cling to little childish things...It's hard to explain so I won't. Plus it's really not pertinent--I was just thinking.

Anyway. We went to Target, as usual. That seems to be my favorite place to play. I needed contact solution and ended up buying a DVD in the mean time. Then, after an unsuccessful attempt at kidnapping Muffin (she wasn't home), we returned to my house to watch The Office. We watched maybe three episodes and she went home. I continued to watch, ate dinner, and then received a phone call from Muffin. She and I ended up walking around the new stores that are over by the Nut Tree. Vacaville is becoming a kickin' little city if I don't say so! We've got all sorts of stuff. Anyway, that was great fun and we both bought some books. Not knowing what to do, we went back to my house and watched--you guessed it--The Office.

She had to go home early because she had a doctor's appointment in the morning, but that was okay. I got ready for bed and then went online. Boy and I talked on the phone for quite some time, and then hung up due to his sleepiness. I laughed when he called back apologizing for cutting me off (which he had not done). We inevitably ended up talking some more, and then I finally went to sleep.

Then there was today. I didn't bother straightening my hair or even picking an outfit. I just wore some gym shorts and a T-shirt and put my hair up. It was car-cleaning day. I hadn't realized how long it's been. It took me a long time to vacuum the interior, but it looked so good after I did. Then I washed bugs from various states off and parked it, sparkling, under the sun. I hope I got a good tan.

I finished season 1 of The Office (no I'm not obsessed, I just want to catch up). Then I played Guitar Hero for an hour. I got annoyed and now I'm sitting here typing. Harry Potter is watching Spongebob. I think I'll sit and sort of watch while posting on my other blog.

Hope all is well with everyone. Sorry I've been so lame and haven't really been reading your blogs much. I do love you!

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

This morning as I was getting ready

I was thoroughly amused by a conversation I overheard in the next room. Keep in mind that Mother is 48 years old. She is one of the most mature people I know. She is organized, sophisticated, and usually has a work-first-play-later attitude. Handsome is 16. He usually puts off doing anything productive.

Mother: Ooo I have time to practice one song on Guitar Hero before I go to the store! [enters game room and begins playing]
Handsome: I need you to move your car so I can run some errands.
Mother: Hold on just a minute. I'm almost done.
Handsome: [sighs] All right.

[Five minutes later]

Handsome: I really need you to move your car so I can go!
Mother: Come on, I just want to finish this.
Handsome: Okay, but be quick!

[Another couple of minutes]

Handsome: Mom! I need you to move your car! Right now!
Mother: Okay okay I just finished.

I'm not going to lie: I'm addicted too.

Monday, June 25, 2007

My dad asked me to help out at work today

I have no idea what I'm doing. I didn't know how to hold the suction thing and then I was just walking around awkwardly. Now I'm hiding in his office. I should just go home, but I've only been here for a half hour.

At least scrubs are hot, right?

Sunday, June 24, 2007

This is going to be long (read: me gushing about California)

After acing both of my classes, saying goodbye to everyone, and packing what I thought I'd need for the rest of the summer, I left. The drive was surprisingly not that bad. I spent some time on the phone with the Jet, PaperTowel, and the Native, but mostly with the Jet. I used a lot of texts chatting with Cuorderoy and Gogie, and I belted to Josh Groban, Kelly Clarkson, Fall-Out Boy, and All-American Rejects. I was also thoroughly entertained by the motorist who's motorcycle desperately wanted to make babies with MustacheBoy's car (I was caravaning with MB).

You can always tell when you're getting close to California. After barren Nevada, trees start to appear in small clumps, and the names of towns go from things like Pumpernickel Valley and Imlay (which sounds a lot like pig-latin) to cooler names like Mustang and Sparks. I could almost smell California.

Finally we crossed the border. I had forgotten how breath-taking the Sierras are. I mean, the Rockies are great--they really are--but they are just that: rocky. The Sierras are forest green, covered with towering redwoods. The mountain-lake grandeur was breathtaking and I thanked God for allowing me to be born in the best state (yes Texas, we're better than you).

We made pretty good time and pulled into Vacaville around 7:30. I was so happy. And I even remembered how to get to MustacheBoy's house. I made it to my house, which looked exactly the same as when I left, except that the front lawn was completely dead (my dad wants to replace it with some really cool grass that grows in Pebble Beach--yes, he's insane).

Everyone but Handsome was home, and I found Sharky, Mother, and Harry Potter upstairs playing Guitar Hero. Arnold was watching TV downstairs. The Guitar Heroes made me watch each of them play for quite some time, insisting that I must also learn. Apparently, all of them have wasted many hours on this game and are quite obsessed. It was thoroughly amusing. Just wait until I get sucked in. Ha.

After Sharky and Arnold moved from Provo to Fairfield a couple of weeks ago, they helped Mother clean out some stuff in the attic in preparation of a massive garage sale (which hasn't happened yet). So they had all these bags of beanie babies and stuffed animals. They got mine out and we went through them. It was incredibly exciting. All my old stuffed animals, even my teddy bear that we've had since I was a baby. There was my first beanie baby, a floppy dog, and my old funky zebra thing that stands up by itself. I sat on the couch and held them for a long time.

Dad came down and we all chatted for a while. He's starting to get old. For the most part, he's his normal random self, but every now and then he just looks tired. And he has these nerve accumulations on his feet which has been preventing him from golfing and doing anything too athletic. That's sad for him because he is such an athlete. But then he'll show me these random YouTube videos and he starts cracking up at the dumbest things. I've always thought I take after Mother, but the older I get, the more I think I'm like Dad. He's fine though. He's always exuded ox-like toughness, and this isn't any different.

The six of us--Dad, Mother, Arnold, Sharky, Me, and Harry Potter--played three games of Joker. One of Sharky's friends invented this game, and it's really fun. We girls beat the boys all three times. It was amazing.

Mother finally found my cat, a tabby named Chester. I have never seen a cat with more personality. He is a really thin, petite cat, but he has a cute face and mega soft fur. He fights other animals all the time and is always getting into mischief. I hear the dog across the street is afraid of him. And he sleeps in the most random places. Just seeing him made me start laughing, and he played his usual role of being annoyed with human contact, as though we're just his slaves and he doesn't want any snuggling out of us--just food. Oh how I've missed him.

Handsome finally came home and we talked. He was all excited to brag about how he's a senior in high school and how he ordered a new laptop ("It's way better than yours!" followed by showing me a picture of it--It's almost exactly the same as mine). He insists he doesn't have a girlfriend, but I don't think he'd have any trouble getting one. Plus he drives a Mustang convertible. Which I'm going to steal this summer. If I can get away with it. Heh.

[Sidenote: Harry Potter is watching Spongebob.
Male Spatula: I'm not your friend!!! runs away
Spongebob, naked, running after the spatula: But I gave up everything for you!!! I thought we had something special!!!!

Umm this show just gets weirder every time.]

I called a few people in an effort to get one of them to go to Singles Ward with me. Two of them would have gone, but both were going out for the day. Popsicle refused. I was going to just go by myself, but Mother convinced me to just go to the good ol' Fourth Ward.

After a fabulous night's sleep and declaring myself gorgeous, we went to church. Gladys was the first person I talked to.

I think everyone must have a crazy lady from their childhood. Gladys is mine. Dad has been her home-teacher since the beginning of time. She has told Bishop that she would leave the church if he reassigned her to someone else. She usually comes to our house for Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners, and she always keeps up on all of our lives. She gave me $25 for graduating from high school, along with a card that was so cute it almost made me cry. She made a point of getting to know Arnold when he married Sharky, and she doesn't know what to do if Dad doesn't sit with her in Sunday School. I'm also pretty sure that she put our family in her will.

That's the nice side of Gladys. She really is a good woman and she loves our family a lot, but she is crazy. She wears a ton of makeup, her eyebrows plastered with liner and her heavily-shadowed eyes stare out from behind huge gold glasses. Very round and bulky in girth, she's been using a walker for many years. She wears black slippers to church, and if you sit near enough, you might hear her muttering things during prayers. During Sunday School she often says random things. And she is the biggest gossip you will ever meet. It's absolutely hilarious.

I sat with her in Relief Society. The women were talking about what it feels like physically when you feel the Spirit--some get the whole "burning of the bosom" deal, while others said they felt tingly. Gladys leans in and says, "I just get indigestion." I almost started cracking up during the middle of the lesson. It was great to see Gladys again.

Back to Sacrament meeting. Harry Potter and I shouldn't sit by each other anymore. We just laugh at random stuff and tickle each other. And he always forgets to whisper so he just starts talking. We were shushed many time by Mother. He clumsily dropped his hymnbook in the middle of a hymn and Mother and I started giggling. We also lost it when a little girl behind us started singing "Old MacDonald had a farm" during the last speaker. Then in Sunday School I whispered with Sister Jacobsen and Sister Mattson and laughed at Gladys' comments. Oh how I love my family ward.

In all seriousness though, going from a BYU ward to my family's ward was a welcome change. There were missionaries, black people, and investigators, and it was in a real stake center rather than a campus building. And the spirit there was so much stronger. I don't know why that is--it could just be that I haven't been doing a good job of putting effort into feeling the Spirit at church--but I think it might have been the people. See, at BYU we are constantly surrounded by churchy things that going to church is just part of a regular routine. Here, church is something special. It's the one day of the week that is different than all the others. It's the one day that they set aside to worship. It's the one day of the week that they are surrounded by other members. There is an incredible Spirit about them. Not that BYU students don't have it, I think it's just dull--we aren't surrounded by as much adversity, and it shows. Anyway I'm rambling now and I think you get my point. It's just nice to be back.

So now I'm sitting here, texting Gogie again, and watching Spongebob. I love being here. I don't know how long that will last, but for now, I have zero regrets about leaving Provo. I'm sure by the time the weekend rolls around I'm going to be missing all of you because I'll be bored. But I'm actually really looking forward to the rest of the summer and I'm glad I came home.

Did I mention I love California?

Thursday, June 21, 2007


I was going through my file box and I came across some cards and letters from the past two semesters. Also I found a few pages of free-write nonsense I did during my Book of Mormon class fall semester. Here are some fragments:

I am cold. I think I may be cold forever. It's distracting and annoying. And I swear we already had this lecture...

I'm confused by O-Chem. All the compounds look exactly the same.

I couldn't find any shoes yesterday when I went shopping. I couldn't find a winter coat. I'm freezing. I fear my musical talent is deteriorating because I haven't touched a piano in weeks...

I want sleep. Warm covers. PJ's. Hazelnut hot chocolate.

I can't wait for this class to end.


It smells funny in here. The kid behind me just said he hates this class. I'm not alone.

In a fairly good mood today. The stress of five quickly-approaching exams hasn't caught up with me yet. I have a bad feeling about this BOM exam though. Why can't I win?

Hmm...CuteGuy did his hair nicely today. He wears that red jacket every time though. I wonder about that...

I have a new friend: AtP. He loves awkward moments and he laughs REALLY loud at EVERYTHING. It's so entertaining. We're basically "BFF's...for E...and E...and E..." Ha.


Note to self: Hymn #220 has a lovely alto part.

Hmm...I wonder if FrequentTalker knows his shirt is inside-out.

O-Chem test after this. I can't begin to describe how ecstatic I am. :/

[later that class period]

This class is awful. I'm actually looking forward to that O-Chem test. ANYTHING to get me out of here.

And I'm cold as usual.

One of those posts where I just ramble about what I did yesterday/today because I feel like typing it, but nothing incredibly exciting

After acing my Music 202 final yesterday, I floated down the mighty Provo with AtP. We had a lot of fun, although it was a long float. Still worth the $10, and I would do it again sometime in the not-so-near future. I don't understand how I didn't get any more tan than I already was. Lame.

Then the Jerman made dinner for me and some people. It was tasty although he didn't think it turned out quite right. We all had fun taking crazy pictures on the couch and watching cartoons.

When I got home, near midnight, I cleaned the entire fridge. Hardcore cleaning too. It looks fabulous. But I ran out of paper towels, so Gogie and I went to Smith's. I ended up going up to his apartment (uh not like that) and I stayed for a while until my roommate called and asked what had happened to me. So I returned home and we finished cleaning the apartment around 3 am. Needless to say, it looks fabulous, and we passed with flying colors.

I just finished burning a bunch of CD's for my trip home. I'm leaving on Saturday for sure. And I'm sort of sad about it. I'm going to miss everyone!!! *Sigh.* I wish I could take you all out to California with me. Seriously though, if you happen to be in San Francisco/Sacramento area (I know they aren't the same, but I live between them) please please please email me and we'll kick it hardcore.

I suppose I should go shower and get ready for the day. And maybe study for that final I have later. Maybe.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

This is me

I cleaned and reorganized my room yesterday. I love seeing those movies and books lined up in alphabetical order, so accessible and tidy. I also love the lime coconut verbena scent of my wallflower from Bath and Bodyworks that is endowing my room with its lovely aroma.

I got a lot done today. Picked up AtP's birthday present, which I sort of wanted to keep for myself. Lunched with the Jerman, studied, Facebooked, grocery-ed, and visited with the Native. I hadn't talked to the Native in almost a week (I think that's a record for us) so it was quite lovely to catch up on our mundane but sometimes dramatic lives. I think he'll always be the love of my life--just not in the romantic way.

Watched three or four episodes of Desperate Housewives last night. That show is pure trash but it totally sucks you in and you just want to know what happens next to these people with horribly fake and screwed up lives. And there's quite a bit of eye candy for both sexes. *shrug*

The visiting teachers are coming in a few minutes. It's nice that they come, but I'm sort of just not in the mood. Hmm...

Tried to declare my major. Couldn't figure out how so I just ended up emailing BYU records and asked them to do it for me. I hope that works out. I plan on going to the HFAC tomorrow to figure out how to be a music minor. And I've decided to be responsible and not take German in the fall. It's about time I was serious about growing up.

As much as I'm excited about going to California, I'm going to miss Provo a little. Mostly I'm going to miss the people, but I think I might miss the grid-system, the ease at which I can get away from everything, and the whole not-living-with-my-parents thing. But it should be fun. My brother, Handsome, just informed me he signed up for Calculus and is expecting help on the summer assignment. I'm delighted. (That wasn't sarcastic).

There's a slight irritation on my arm. I have no idea where it came from but I've been cortaid-ing and aloe vera-ing like crazy. I hope it goes away.

Finished The Bell Jar. I thought I was going insane. Fabulous book. In fact, I bought myself a copy today. Hopefully I'll get around to reading some of Sylvia Plath's short stories and poetry this summer.

Not excited to pack.

Not excited to drive for 10+ hours.

Perhaps I should leave on Sunday? MustacheBoy, you decide. If you need more time to pack, don't hesitate to tell me. I'd love to have a free day Saturday. No later than Sunday though.

This blog is really long and fragmented. I sort of like doing that.

I hope the Native finds his wallet. We tried to go to Chuck E. Cheese but he couldn't find his wallet.

PreviousHomeTeacher/Roommate'sBrother asked if the Native was "a boyfriend." Ha. Why does everyone think that?

Mmm Hungarian food tomorrow.

I'm not a huge fan of Dada artists. Cubism is pretty cool though.

The phone is ringing. I'm going to go study.

Friday, June 15, 2007

Chocolate-covered strawberries

Love sucks.


Marriage had better be worth it.

No wonder I love Seinfeld so much.

I'm Elaine. Not a perfect fit, but pretty close.

~Jerry: "And we discover yet another talent--posing as a girlfriend for homosexuals."

~Elaine: "You know, I don't have a single female friend left."
Kramer: "Of course you don't. You're a man's woman. You hate other women and they hate you."

Thursday, June 14, 2007


This girl named Strawberry has been trying to hang out with me for a long time. I actually wouldn't mind hanging out with her, but she always calls so last minute and so it hasn't really worked out.

She called me on my birthday and asked if I wanted to go see a violin concert with her. She didn't seem to know it was my birthday, even though she added me to her top friends on Facebook. I told her I already had plans (I didn't mention the birthday thing because I didn't want her to be sad that I didn't invite her). She said something about how maybe I just don't want to hang out with her. The little voice in my head said something like, What the hell? Girl, please. My actual voice told her that was nonsense and that she shouldn't call so last minute. I was perfectly charming of course and asked her what she was doing the next Friday (which happens to be tomorrow). She checked her schedule and said she was off work at 6:00 pm. I promised we'd hang out then, and a Stephalumpagus never forgets.

Fast-forward to this evening's text message exchange:

Strawberry: What's going on tomorrow?
Stephalumpagus: There's a movie playing on campus at 9:30 pm. Some other people might come too. If you want, we can make dinner before that. Come over around 7:30 pm.
Strawberry: K I really want to come but it depends on whether or not I have a car. I'm trying to get it fixed and my dad can't fix it until he gets off work at 6:00 pm.
Stephalumpagus: Ok, well let me know.
Strawberry: K.

I was tempted to send her a text saying, "Well maybe you just don't want to hang out with me," but I thought that would be bratty. Also I'm sort of wondering why she asked me what was going on when she was the one that was changing up the plans.

Also, (and this applies to all texters, not just Strawberry), why was the last text message necessary? I mean, I told her to let me know, and it's assumed that as long as she's human she would let me know. So why make me open my phone to see a text that is only one letter? Isn't that just a waste of my messages? And of her life? And of my life? I've always wondered about those texts. Why do people bother?

Ok I'm being way too cynical. I'm actually in a fabulous mood. We'll see if Strawberry ends up hanging out with me. If she doesn't though, I'm going home next week so I suppose it's comforting to know this won't happen again at least until September.

Ten minutes

until Psychology starts. I didn't do the reading. The plan was to skim through them online just before class started. Problem: This was the only supplementary reading assignment where we actually had to go to the library and look up some pages in some books. I didn't realize this until just now. Good thing I have 21.5 extra credit points in this class. It looks like I'll be needing them.

Got another A on another Music 202 midterm. Things are looking up.

The Native took me on a date to Tucanos last night. Soooooooooooooo good! Also soooooooooooo expensive, but lucky for me the Native insisted on paying. Then we watched a scary movie. I'm afraid the Native would make a terrible boyfriend--he jumped more in the movie than I did, and he made no attempts to help out when I was scared. I'm not complaining though because it was a really nice date and he smelled good. Plus I'm not dating him.

I then stayed up late watching Family Guy with Gogie. Based on Gogie's performance last night (does that sound dirty? I hope so), I would say the Masseuse now has some competition in the department of massages/playing with hair. Lucky for me I can now exploit both of them mercilessly. Bwa ha ha. Jk. I give them massages too. I'm so nice.

I then fell asleep reading The Bell Jar. *sigh*. I think I'm going to go buy that book so I can return AtP's copy rather than steal it.

Speaking of AtP, he gave me a copy of How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk for my birthday. That should be an exciting read. Maybe I'll give him a copy of Sex for Dummies for his birthday.

Alas, class is about to start. The last class before the final. Thank goodness.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

You can tell Stephalumpagus is out of it when...

1. A large mess on her floor is left there indefinitely and she pretends not to see it.
2. A larger mess in her kitchen and its accompanying smell is ignored for several days.
3. She daydreams every 10 minutes.
4. She doesn't read anyone else's blog for days on end.
5. Your name is the Jerman and you can read minds.
6. She doesn't feel like organizing her desk.
7. She goes straight for Sylvia Plath instead of finishing Cry, the Beloved Country.
8. She doesn't cook for over a week.
9. She sends Cuorderoy 19 text messages in one day.
10. She doesn't feel like labeling things.

I'm so weird. Why do I love labeling?!?!?!

Ok I'll tell you about my weekend

My birthday wasn't incredibly exciting, but I did have great fun with my boys at PF Chang's and then later at my house. Also, AtP and I watched the cooking channel and made cinamon rolls. A bunch of old friends called to wish me a happy day, and it was just that. Happy. So no complaints here.

Saturday Gogie and I drove around American Fork after our unsuccessful trip to Kohl's. Then we went camping with a bunch of peoples. It was fun but I got zero sleep. I think I prefer bonfires with no sleepovers.

Sunday was interesting. I slept through some of church but I did go to all three hours. Grandma's house was really fun because we played two games of Rook. I took an old double deck of her Rook cards so I need to teach a bunch of you how to play. I got my presents from my parents and was thrilled with all my new movies. I then talked to the Jet on the phone for several hours, and then to the Native for about a half hour.

The next morning I was nervous. Actually I was nervous all day Sunday too, but I was really nervous Monday morning. Something this weekend prompted a friend and I to sit down and talk about how we felt about each other. Those of you who read my other blog know that I have trouble talking to people about how I feel. And those of you who know me really well know that it sometimes really upsets me when my friends are having a rough time. I knew that being honest was going to be hurtful, which made me even more nervous.

It actually went well, and we were both really honest. He put on a good face and we both decided it would be best to leave things as they are. I don't know how upset he was, if he was at all, but I know he had to be sad. I mean, I've been there, and I know how much it sucks. So I felt really bad. I really don't like causing others pain, especially people that I really care about. So I wasn't in the greatest mood.

However, I was glad it was over with and I was really looking forward to FHE at the Matis' house. I treated myself to ice cream before we went, and then we got there and it was exactly what I needed. The Native came, which meant a lot to me, and I got to meet a bunch of people and see other people that I already knew. The speaker was fabulous and I loved her message. Brother and Sister Matis talked to the Native, the Baker's Son, and I for a long time. They were so sweet. And as Brother Matis was talking about his son and about all the Mohos, I felt so much love for all of you. Really, it has been such a blessing in my life to have such amazing friends. I told the Baker's Son that this [gesturing around] was just what I needed. He laughed and looked around and said, "Gay people?" I laughed to0, but really, that was what I had needed. Not just gay people, but my friends. My boys. There are times when I can see your eternal potential and it just amazes me. Honestly, I have a special place in my heart for you all, and I was just surrounded by and filled with love last night. The Native said he felt the same way. It was a wonderful, wonderful FHE and I will definitely be going monthly when I get back from California.

After FHE we went to Bow&Arrow's house for a while. I started to feel crappy again so I was sort of anti-social. Then I remembered my car was at the Native's house and it was past curfew. Sure enough, there was a little red boot on the front tire of my car. Red is so not her color. I was sort of beyond caring though and Bow&Arrow drove me home.

At some point I was crying while texting the Native (I'm so emotional sometimes, I swear), but then I read an email from Cuorderoy and it soothed me. I fell asleep typing a response and woke up at 12 pm on Tuesday. Wow.

God was kind enough to send me dreams of ringing handbells and I woke up in a good mood. The Native (I don't know what I did to deserve him) picked me up and we went out to Smart Cookie and then got my boot taken care of. I then had to go to Psychology, which was boring as usual, but afterwards I read The Bell Jar (so therapeutic, you have no idea) and made dinner at the Native's house. Then I took the Masseuse grocery shopping which was more fun than it sounds.

Several hours later I still haven't done my homework, but I don't care much. It will get done eventually. It always does. Plus I'm excited to see Gwumpkie tomorrow. Yes, it was a rocky couple of days but things are settling and I'm feeling calm.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

It was a crazy weekend

Maybe someday I'll blog about it. But it's unlikely that blog will be posted here.

Thursday, June 07, 2007


Stephalumpagus: There's no air conditioning?
Friend that is a straight male: Inside, yes. Outside, no.
S: Why not?
FTIASM: I'm not sure.
FTIASM: I'll ask God about it.
S: He'll probably tell you that's what wind is for.
FTIASM: Or he'll probably say, "That's a stupid question."
S: You're right. You probably shouldn't ask. He might smite you.
FTIASM: I might get smitten.
S: And not in the romantic way.
FTIASM: Yeah...
S: I think I'd prefer the romantic way.
S: Have you ever been smitten (in the romantic way)?
FTIASM: I don't think so.
S: Really? Smitten=crush.
FTIASM: No no. Smitten means madly in love.
S: Oh. I suppose.
FTIASM: Have you ever been smitten?
S: Hmm...maybe once.
FTIASM: Really?
S [simplifying a really long story]: Yeah, but he turned out to be gay.
FTIASM: Wow. That really sucks.
S: Yeah I don't think I'd recommend it.
FTIASM: I'll keep that in mind.
FTIASM: Who was it?
S: I can't tell you!
FTIASM: Why not? I don't know him.
S: Yeah, but you might meet him. And he doesn't want me telling everyone I know.
FTIASM: Being gay isn't something to be ashamed about.
[Score ten points for Friend!]
S: I know that, and he knows that, but he still isn't comfortable with random people knowing.
FTIASM: Yeah that's true.
S: Have you ever been smitten?
FTIASM: I don't think so.
S: Not even with China?
FTIASM: I don't know...
S: Yeah, it's hard to know.
FTIASM: Yeah...
S: This couch is so uncomfortable.
FTIASM: You should burn it.
S: Not a bad idea actually.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Creative writing

I suck at writing but it's fun to try:

The ominous clouds vomit relentlessly on the poor, shaking trees. Thus is my view as I crouch on the tiny desk, cold, wet, and unsure of myself. An attendant walks by, carelessly surveying and scrutinizing each row of victims. There are unusually many here today and I feel slightly claustrophobic. I stare at the papers in front of me, and begin.

I thought I was prepared, but this was proving more difficult than I had anticipated. The little black marks on the page blur as I rack my memory. Was it him? No it couldn't be. But who was it?

I struggle forward, estimating, guessing, hoping they will be merciful. Resisting the urge to hum out loud, I summon all the intellectual powers I have and finally scratch the last mark. The papers are neatly stacked. As I stand, I look around triumphantly, pitying the poor souls who still remain.

Silently I leave the papers with the attendant, sensing my impending freedom. I lightly float down the stairwell and look up. What I see is so shocking, I have to look again. Blinking quickly to clear my vision, a smile starts to form on my previously agonized face. The smile grows until it illuminates my entire face. Then I walk out into the gloom.

What happened in normal terms:

I went to the Testing Center today and took a really hard test. I couldn't remember if there was an oboe cadenza in the third movement of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony, and there were some other really tough questions. Also I wasn't sure about one of the identification pieces. I had been really hoping to get an A because it would help my grade in the class, but I didn't feel confident. I had resigned myself to a B before I even finished the test, but when I looked at the screen to get my score, I had to double check. I got a 98%!!!! Basically I'm a genius, and now I'm home free for the weekend. Woot!

Sunday, June 03, 2007


This is going to be long. *Deep breath.*

Thursday afternoon I was a little worried about my psychology quizzes. Those actually went extremely well, and I found out I had gotten the top grade on the midterm. I left that class very satisfied and BloodMan (previously known as J) picked me up for the Killers concert. It was AWESOME. I had a blast. I want to find out if there are any other cool concerts I could go to before I go home. If you hear of any, let me know.

Friday I woke up to my phone ringing and was surprised to see it was the Masseuse. He asked if I wanted to go hiking in the canyon. I was delighted and said of course. So I donned my chacos and off we went. We had no idea where there were any trails so we just started driving. We took a road that looked like it was going upward and just kept driving. The Masseuse's poor beat-up car struggled up the mountain as his new sub-woofer and speakers blared. We finally found a lookout where we could park, and there happened to be a trail right next to it. Not knowing where it would take us, we followed it.

We had been walking and talking for quite some time when we found what looked like a campground area. We sat on a rock and talked for a couple of hours, trying to get tan and enjoying the view and the breeze. Finally we left because the Masseuse had to get ready for a date that night. After a near-accident in his car, we made it home and I wished him luck on his date. It was a great hike--I really love hanging out with the Masseuse because I feel so comfortable around him. No awkwardness, and I can be completely open and honest. It was a lovely hike.

I washed my feet when I got home, to discover my new chaco tan (AtP is so jealous) and that I was sunburned. Thus far it's fading into a nice tan. Score ten points for me.

I didn't know what to do for the evening because a lot of my friends were out of town, but I text-ed AtP to see what he was doing. I ended up having Costa Vida with him and his mom, and then we visited the Drex/Salad crowd at Salad's house. We met Evading Odd and watched Gimple and Calvin sing a duet. It was interesting. :)

We ended up at the New Kid's house, and enjoyed a movie and crumb cake. So good. AtP was almost too delirious to drive us home, but we made it safely.

Saturday I slept in really late. Really really late. The Jet called and we chatted for a bit. I ran some errands and then the Masseuse and I were supposed to hang out. I made amazing dinner and watched Seinfeld until he called. We both wanted to have an adventure, so we went to explore Utah Lake. We walked out on the rocks as far as possible and sat and talked some more while the sun set over the lake. It sounds cheesy I know, but it was nice to just enjoy each other's company. Plus we talked about this girl he likes. Haha. Anyway, the bugs started eating us so we walked back. We went to his house and picked a movie that neither of us had seen: "Envy" with Jack Black and Ben Stiller. About a half hour before it was over we decided we had lost enough brain cells and turned it off. We drove up the mountain to eat shakes from Wendy's and to talk some more.

I dropped him off and went home to find Gogie and PaperTowel online. Then the Masseuse signed on. So I talked to all of them for about an hour. Finally PT and Gogie signed off, and AtP got on. Eventually we all left, so I got in bed and read a little bit, finally falling asleep around 3 am.

Church today was lovely. I was roommate-less, but I surprised myself with my social skills and actually had people to sit with. I had a good time, and when it was over I rushed over to Grandma's for dinner. The Jerman was going to come but was detained. It was fun though. Grandma and I beat my brother and my uncle at a game of Nil. And now I'm home with a cleaned room.

It was a fabulous weekend.

Saturday, June 02, 2007

A rant

So I was going to post about the past 36 hours. And then some comments about the Young Women's program on L's latest post pissed me off.

Slow-motion pillow fights? WHAT THE HELL?

I can't say I enjoyed everything about YW. However, I can say from experience that it is a good program that teaches young women to understand and value womanhood. If you haven't been through the program (read: if you are a man), don't tell me what the young women do. Don't tell me they spend all of their time having pillow fights and making lists of what they want their husbands to be like. Don't you DARE presume to tell me what the YW program entails. That program doesn't teach those stereotypes--it teaches us to be real women. Just because we aren't boy scouts doesn't mean we didn't do difficult things. I learned a lot of boy scout type skills through the YW program. I went on fat hikes and became CPR-certified and completed the 70 hours worth of projects and the other 42 required activities to complete the Personal Progress program. I was taught that I am a daughter of God.

Shame on you men out there that think the women of the Church sit around sewing or having slumber parties. Shame on you men that contribute to the demeaning female stereotypes of the world. We are your equals (if not your superiors) and we deserve your respect.

My intended post will come later. For now I must calm myself and go to sleep.