The way things are

Life is a really hard game. The pieces keep falling out of those teeny little cars!

Sunday, April 29, 2007

The Golden Compass

I know I'm a nerd, so if you are thinking that, you are correct.

The Golden Compass is the first book in this AMAZING trilogy called "His Dark Materials" (or the "Northern Lights Trilogy" in the UK) by Philip Pullman. These books are soooooooooo good. I would put them at the same level as Harry Potter. Yeah. That good. I need to re-read them to refresh my memory, but I'm fairly certain that these books have a lot more depth than Harry Potter, but still with an exciting and highly original plot.

Anyway, apparently a movie of the first book is being made. I WILL be seeing this film when it comes out. If you haven't read these books--read them. If you have--please rant with me about them. I highly recommend going to the website and checking out the movie.

And you can find out what your daemon (your soul, in animal has to do with the need to read them) is. Mine is a Jackal named Romulus. So cool!!! Anywho, here it is.

Read these books!!!! (To the Jerman: I think that you especially would love them)

My life

It's been really busy. I cleaned my entire house, packed it all up, said goodbye to people that were going home for spring, hung out with a few people, hung out with my family while my parents were here, and moved into my new apartment--all within the past four days. HOLY MAN.

News? Roommate E's friend doesn't like me for what seemed to be no reason at all. Then I remembered that I put Roommate E's dirty dishes in a box without washing them. I didn't feel bad about it either. I did her dishes several times already, and I had to clean the sink. Plus I'll likely never see her again, thank goodness. I'm just glad Gimple and Brady were there to glare at the scary people. :)

Also, I adore everything about my new apartment. My room roommate, for whom I have yet to come up with a name, is awesome. She is cute, and nice, and fun to talk to, and is just an angel. I worry about my Honor-Code-bending habits because she is so good though...Maybe she will save me. We will see. I can always go to AtP's house to break the Honor Code--he lives nearby.

My ward is fabulous. I knew one person, and by the time Relief Society rolled around (which I actually went to this week!) I was surrounded by friendly people, chatting with me and everything. A whole bunch of us from the complex walked home, laughing and chatting the whole way. It was lovely.

And my room/closet space are much expanded from my previous apartment. And there's wireless internet. I love this place.

The Native is in town, and I got to see him on Saturday. He's staying with a lovely family who used to live in Cowtown, and who's son happens to be my first kiss. o_O And guess what?!?! I don't care! In fact, I was actually excited to go over there! He ended up not being there, but I honestly have no hard feelings toward him, and I'd actually like to hang out with him this summer! I guess I'm just surprised at my attitude toward him, because a year ago I never wanted to see him again. But I digress...

So I'm going to help the Native move in tomorrow, and I'm way excited. It's so fun to have him out here. :) I love that kid.

In other news, I came out to my parents. Jk. But this was as close as I'll ever get. I told my mom that the Native is gay (with his permission, of course). I explained that he's still active in the Church and that I have a lot of friends out here that are in the same boat. I also told her about Carol Lynn, and the Matises, and all the M-O-M people I've met and read about.

She reacted exactly as I had predicted--accepting and loving, but still old-fashioned. She was sorry for the Native because she wants him to be happy. She said he could ask her for anything he needs. But I also got the impression that if he chose a gay lifestyle that he would become just another sad story to her. Just another "what could have been" story. I was expecting that. She's a very precise woman, especially in the Church. Not overzealous, just precise. I don't think she would ever completely ostracize him for choosing a gay lifestyle, but she might lose her respect for him. Which is a shame, but that's just the way she is.

Also, she brought up reparative therapy. I squashed that right away though, and she's practical enough that she understands reparative therapy tends to have low success rates. She also mentioned that she didn't believe people were "born that way." She knew SSA isn't a choice, but she thought it was more circumstantial. I also squashed that and told her that it doesn't matter either way--to be born with a susceptibility to a certain temptation happens for a lot of people, and so does developing that susceptibility. That made sense to her.

She mostly was just worried that the Native would have a difficult life. And of course he will. But she was practical, compassionate, and understanding. Her opinion of the Native hadn't changed in the least, and I came away from our conversation very pleased.

And I just spent the last hour chatting with my roommate. Did I mention I love this place?

Friday, April 27, 2007

I cleaned today

And now there are scary people in my house.

Most people wouldn't wait until the night before to start packing. Roommate E isn't "most people."

I'm afraid. If our house is messy in the morning...Someone is going to get stabbed in the eye.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

I should be cleaning

But I don't want to.

It's late, I'm tired, and I'm slightly sad.

Reasons: The Jet is gone, and it's really weird not having someone around to just talk to for hours. Also, I just said goodbye to PaperTowel and Gogie. So much for having a crush on a straight guy--nothing happens, and now I have to wait until fall to find out if anything ever will. I don't think it's really an issue of missing him more than it's an issue of feeling like I've failed in the romance department. Again. It would be nice to be pursued, for once. *sigh* I will miss him though. Thank goodness for texting and IM.

I'm also sad because even though the Native is finally out here, I haven't seen a whole lot of him (both of our faults, really--it's just been a crazy week), and he's been sick. Sick=tired=seemingly uninterested. And even though I know that's not the case, it makes me sad.

That probably sounded really lame. The tiredness has set in. Maybe I shouldn't post this. Oh well.

Life's not bad though--after Sunday, it won't be so hectic. Also I've gotten to see AtP more than usual, which always makes me smile. And my parents are visiting. And the Native is finally here.

For those of you that I didn't get to say goodbye to for spring--Goodbye. I hope to see a lot of you again in the fall. I love you all.

It's time for this girl to go to sleep. I'm signing off.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

"It's a potpourri."

(For anyone who was interested, the above quote was from a Seinfeld episode in reference to the smell of George Kostanza's parents' house.)

PS--This is like four blogs in one. Feel free to read only certain parts, or none at all.

I love my family
So I went to my grandparents' house today. It was fantastic. The dinner was tasty, as usual, and the strawberry pie was to die for. We quickly cleared the table to play Rook (a game that is the holy of holies in the Pedersen family). Halfway through the game, my aunt Shelly notices that there is water all over the kitchen floor. Apparently the dishwasher was disconnected. We quickly turned off the dishwasher, threw some towels on the floor, and decided we ought to get back to our game because there was no fixing that thing until tomorrow. So we left the mess--the game was much more important than a flood in the kitchen.

My aunt Sheila takes the bid and calls black trump. She asks brother-in-law David what "black" is in Spanish. "Negro," he responds. Grandma says, "Oh, that's an easy one to remember." [much laughter]

Becky eats a huge bowl of ice cream (yes, even after the amazing pie). She acts like a small child.
The next hand Grandma deals. It takes her a long time to peel each card off of each other. Sheila says she deals like a "'tard." Grandpa fiddles around under the sink with a flashlight and some sort of tool, then declares that he and Grandma are "suckers" because some man tricked them into buying that part of the dishwasher that caused the flood.

My family is insane. I adore them.

Facing East
EVERYONE NEEDS TO SEE THIS PLAY. It's in Salt Lake through next week. Go see it. I'll let you know when I find out for sure when I'm going, in case any of you want to come with me. But go anyway. I'm really excited about it.

I think I have a crush. On a straight guy. I haven't dated anyone for almost three years. And even then it was a pathetic excuse for dating. I'm not dating this guy now, but I would if he asked. Too bad he won't be here for spring or summer.

It's weird...It's been so long since I've had "crush" like this...I don't really know what to do. And I'm frustrated with the lack of progress. Also I don't want to completely admit I "like" this guy because...well...what if it turns out like EVERY OTHER CRUSH I'VE EVER HAD?

Also, some might tell me to make a move if I'm sick of having no progress. Here's my problem with that---I initiated our first lunch. I frequently call him to do things. I try to let my body language show that I'm interested. I'm NOT making a move. If there's anything I've learned it's that one person should never have to do all the work in a relationship. He's outgoing, and good-looking, and could probably get any girl he wanted. So he can make the first move.

I think I'll have to wait until fall to figure this one out.

The way I am
I think I've annoyed the Jet several times as of late because my personality is somewhat...mmm...obsessive. Just little things--like not putting lemon juice on the chicken before it's served, and hiding my silverware and dishes from all of my roommates.

I don't know why I do these things. Sometimes, I just have to have things a certain way. There are certain things I can't allow to be imperfect, and sometimes I have to do things in a certain order. Again--I don't know why.

The hiding of the silverware and dishes is mostly because I'm highly suspicious of people in general. This is because people don't always do things the way I like. For example, I brought a toaster out here, and allowed all of my roommates to use it. It wasn't a marvelous toaster, but now, it is a sad appliance, partially broken, charred, and full of crumbs. It's not a big deal because I got the toaster for free, but I learned that I just don't do things the way everyone else does. Now, when using my rice cooker or fondue pot, I clean it immediately after, and then put it back in the box where it can be stored safely. The dishes are a similar story--a lot of our dishes are left out with old food stuck on them, or thrown into the dishwasher with all of the other food-encrusted dishes. I'd rather that not happen to my dishes, so I keep them separate. It's not like we don't have enough dishes for them.

I suppose I'm just very protective of my possessions. I'm afraid other people will do irreparable damage to my things and then I will be angry because that just causes a hassle. I realize I'm a bit over-the-top on this, and I often persuade myself to be nice and to just trust people. It usually doesn't turn out badly. And if I trust you once and you don't fail me, I'll be way less hesitant to trust you again. On the flip side, if you fail me once, I will likely never trust you with anything again. Ok that's not completely true, but I will definitely be really hesitant to trust you, and I will be insanely worried until you prove you haven't failed me.

Also, there are times when Courderoy irritates me because she can't find things. Like her keys, her phone, or her iPod. I can't live like that. Everything has it's place--keys go in the purse, phone is in the pocket or on the charger, iPod is on its stand, etc. When I can't find something that should be in its place, it drives me nuts. I got really mad the other day because I couldn't find a shirt. There are only three places it could have been, and it wasn't in any of them! I later found it just beyond my laundry basket. But still. I like to know where things are!

So I'm very particular. I'm sure this can be annoying, but I honestly don't mean to be. I can't help being obsessive. It's just the way I am.

Sunday, April 15, 2007


This is just a reminder that I have a bell concert tonight at the Utah State Hospital chapel. 7:00pm, free admission, about an hour long, and it's going to be amazing. The chapel is at the very east end of Center Street in Provo.

I have to be there at 6:30, so if any of you would like to ride with me I'd be more than happy to drive you. Just send me an email (with your phone number if I don't already have it). I really would be thrilled if you all came!!! Love you all and hope to see you there!!!!

Thursday, April 12, 2007


Yes, this is my third post of the day. I confess. But it's important!!!

This Sunday, April 15th, my bell group is performing in Provo. It at the Utah State Hospital Chapel (or something like that) at 7:00pm, free admission. For those of you who don't know, handbell choirs are not really common-place, and they are really cool to see live in performance. We are a very experienced top-notch choir with an amazing repertoire and I highly recommend coming. Plus I'm in it, and I play the super gi-normous bells!

Anyway, 7:00 pm, this Sunday. Bring all your friends. I estimate the concert will be about an hour long. I don't know the exact address, but if you go east on Center street to the very very end, the road curves and you will see the chapel. You can't miss it. And if you see a white Jeep hooked up to a trailer, you've definitely found the place (we haul all our bells around in that trailer).

So please come! It would really make my day to see some familiar faces in the audience. :) If you have any questions, feel free to email me.

Da (The) Jet

I'd like to say a few things about Da Jet. Since I love and thrive on organization, and in spite of the fact that my last post was a list, I'm going to do this in list-form.

1. I don't know where I got "da" instead of "the" because on her profile I'm pretty sure it's just "The Jet." But whatever, I'm still calling her Da Jet because in the future everyone will be doing it.
2. She lives with me. She's basically amazing. She's also a flautist because she plays the flaut. And she hates it when I say that.
3. We are not a couple. Because we are close friends, and we go everywhere together, and we basically share a brainwave, it could look like we are together. Apparently Gimple thought we were a couple at first when we met him the other night (and in context of the setting and the company present, that theory makes perfect sense). Alas, I confess that both of us are attracted to men and not to each other. Although, AtP once told us that if we were in fact a lesbian couple, I would be the "fem" and she would be the environmentalist. Maybe in another life(?). *Shrug*
4. She's a fat whore (and to this accusation, she will inevitably respond that I'm much fatter and a much bigger whore, or she will probably say she learned it all from me, or something to that effect).
5. You should all read her blog. Yes, the link is here on my blog. Yes, you will love it. This is my official announcement, for all of you that have asked. :)

Things that make today happy

1. I got up early enough to do my hair and look cute, even though this is my long day that is usually grubby day for me.
2. My first class was filled with much laughter (Dr. Howard is HILARIOUS) and then ended early.
3. My last American Heritage lab was today.
4. Lunch was a Caesar salad and a frozen strawberry lemonade (mmm!)...
5. ...and a cookie that Gay BYU Student bought for me. We finally had lunch together after several unsuccessful tries. It was a lovely lunch and I was sad when it was over. I freaking love that boy. And he told me he thought I was cool (I'm such a sucker for flattery when it's genuine). 6. My "The Bible as Literature" class was wonderful, as usual. We talked about the prodigal son in depth. I am really going to miss that class. Did I mention he canceled the final, and made our last paper optional?!?!?!
7. I didn't do my German homework and I don't care (um...what has happened to me? That would never happen in high school).
8. German was fun as usual. We didn't actually start the class until 15 minutes before it was over. Another class I will sorely miss.
9. The sun is now out, and I'm going to go play piano (which I don't do nearly enough).
10. I have bell rehearsal tonight. Which is always really long, but also really fun. I LOVE handbells (I know--I'm such a nerd).

Happy Thursday everyone.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Post #100

I'm officially a blog whore.

I think it's appropriate that this post is about cleanliness, since that is the slogan/banner-thing of my blog is about dirty dishes.

I cleaned our house Sunday because it smelled. After I cleaned it, it was spotless and smelled of Lysol.

Today, two days later, there are crumbs all over the floor. There are dishes piled in the sink and the counters are scary.

I'm so excited to move.

Happy Blogcentennial to me!

Sunday, April 08, 2007

Happy Easter

I felt obligated to post. Easter is the best holiday (and probably most important) and yet it's highly underrated. And so, I post.

1. Happy birthday Jesus! (two days ago actually)
2. Huzzah for the Resurrection. It's incredibly amazing that we will live again in perfect bodies in a perfect world. And it's amazing that Christ would suffer our sins, would die for us, and would be risen again. That gives me such hope!
3. This is shallow, but I love Easter candy. I don't know who came up with the whole Bunny+eggs thing (umm...bunnies don't lay eggs), but whatever. Candy is good. Especially those Hershey chocolate eggs with the candy coating. My favorite.
4. This is my first Easter EVER away from home. It's sort of sad. We usually have an Easter egg hunt in the living room, followed by candy trading. It's also around this time of year that my mom gets me the free gift thing from Clinique (I LOVE Clinique). And then we would watch some church movie as a family. *sigh*
5. New clothes were always a part of Easter. I'd get an "Easter dress," which was just a new church outfit. I wore a new dress today, excited to be all spring-y. And then it rained. *sigh again*

I actually am in a good mood though. This is one of my favorite holidays.

Happy Easter everyone.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Meeting People

I love meeting people from Blogland. It's sort of funny...There are my school friend, my Cowtown friends, my old choir friends, my bell group people...And then there are my blogger friends.

Some of them I knew before I found their blogs. But some of them...Well, Salad and Drex found me last night at the Phil concert. They happened to be sitting right behind me which was random. Other bloggers like Samantha and Agirlwho have been introduced to me by people I already knew. AtP I just recognized right off the bat. I just love Blogland/the "Moho Queerosphere" or whatever other names have been attached to this little world. :) I love it.

Seriously, if you don't know me and you want to meet me, email me! I love meeting people!!

Ok I'm done ranting about this. It was so random. But whatever it's my blog. Hehe.

Monday, April 02, 2007


It's been over a week since my last post on this blog. I've posted various times on my other blog, which is sort of backwards for me.

Anyway, I'm just putting off homework.

Today was a day. And now I'm just tired. I didn't even do anything today. Except ironing. Which was surprisingly relaxing/gratifying/cheering. It's so weird that I get pleasure out of cleaning and organizing. But I do. In fact, right now I really want to go through my entire desk and closet. Of course I won't let myself do that before I do homework, so I probably won't get to it tonight. Sadness.

I was going to post about how BYU thinks my name is Ms. Stephanie P. Lakey, but I don't feel like it. I will post about that later.

I really want to clean. AtP must know how I feel. Perhaps I can get my homework done quickly and then clean. Hmm...